AveragePsycho

2012-02-16T20:52:00.000+08:00

I only asked for you to be the man I know you to be. All I wanted was for you to be the better, stronger man for me and for yourself. I needed you to fight for me... to be proud that you were fighting for me.

You disappoint me... and you hurt me instead.

Back to day 1.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2012-01-06T01:41:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine told me to read Norwegian Wood. "Read the first chapter, promise."
He was right.

Haruki's character talked of memories. How one says "i'll never forget you". But despite the effort, time will always slowly decay the memory... to just some thing that happened. No longer a memory worth remembering.

"The thought fills me with an almost unbearable sorrow. Because Naoko never loved me."

Too familiar.

~~~

I once told Lester to create his new story. A new chapter in his book. Progress with it and not dwell on the last chapter that just ended. Now, i'm stuck in the same situation. Finding a new story.

Still searching.

Books will have to keep me company for the meantime. They lend you their stories-- that it will help you reflect on the story you've just created and hoping that it will inspire you for the next.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2012-01-04T02:03:00.001+08:00

Highly productive day despite certain... obstacles. 3 out of my to-do list for 2012 is already on their way.

~~~

On the last day of every year, Jinky would come over my house for our yearly tradition. On the eve of New Year we talk about the things we've accomplished for the year that has passed and come up with a very tangible list of things that we want to do for the year that will be.

Some might say it's a bucket list of sorts, but I refuse to believe we're that old...and dying. I refuse to wither away. Others might say its "The Secret". Name it whatever you want. Just do it.

The list should be simple. Tangible. Attainable. A very basic to-do list.

It's a list of things you've been meaning to do. Goals that should be achieved before the next year ends. Sometimes these goals are inspired by the things you learn within the previous year. "I wanna climb a mountain" is part of my list for 2012. The rest of course i'm keeping to myself.

You have to be specific with your to-do list. Not vague. If you want to travel, name the place. In 2011, I shared with Jinky that I will travel to Australia. And I did. Again, it should be attainable and you should be committed.

More important to note is that the to-do list is for you. Not for anyone else. It's not the "I will have a boyfriend this year" kind of thing. It is meant to better yourself, to enrich YOUR soul. To gain new stories.

~~~

It started that one year. In a small post- it note, I listed down things I wanted to do and I placed it in my wallet to remind me... until of course I forgot about it. I was cleaning out my wallet when I saw it. At the end of the list was a special gift I've been meaning to give my parents-- "Buy tickets for mom and dad so they can visit lola in Zamboanga". I remembered, but I didn't have savings. I shrugged it off at that time since I still needed to save up. But then it was too late. My lola died before the year ended.

~~~

It's fine to live your life one day at a time, to take it slow and take everything in. But if you don't have an end goal at the very least (e.g. to travel more, to be independent), you'll never really be able to live your life to the fullest. You live one day at a time... to reach a goal... or you'll just end up being left behind by the people around you and all their stories that you could have shared yourself.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-12-31T16:43:00.002+08:00

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-12-30T19:27:00.000+08:00

In trying to help yourself, you end up helping everyone else.

We talked about moving on. The 'how's' and the 'why's'. Cliches said again and again.
Then I remembered what helped me before all of this chaotic mess started. Surfing.

More than a sport, it helps you realize certain facts about life. You see, when one surfs, they don't surf through technique, they surf with the heart and more importantly, faith.

You watch the water. See where the swells at. Then you start paddling out to the line up. It doesn't really matter how big the waves are. You're excited for that feeling again. But being stoked doesn't happen so easily. You're faced with several factors beyond your control... the current, the wind, the waves. You wait patiently. Some swells die down before it gets to you and you paddle back out again. You wait some more. It gets difficult with the current. You feel tired, anxious. But you see a good one coming up. You take your place. Others follow. You feel the back of your board lifting as you paddle your hardest. Then you pop up. Balance and try to make it the longest ride you could have for that day.

Then you realize that while everything else is out of your hands, there is one thing you can control-- yourself. Whatever the sea gives you, you take in and you pray for the best. That when it happens, you're balanced, ready to take that ride. A well-deserved stoke.

It makes a lot of sense, Les said.
It does.

I'm still waiting at the line up. Along with others too. And while i'm tired, disheartened and alone on my board. That perfect ride will get here soon. I just need to make sure that when it happens i'm perfectly balanced.

"Be that sunset ride for me. The last one I take. The longest ride I make. And my ultimate stoke."

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-12-28T19:38:00.000+08:00

You end up with your best friend... or at least that was the story in my head.

Reality then bites you in the ass and makes you realize that it doesn't always pan out the way you want it to. No one wants to hurt anyone, or be the one left hurting. All you can do is take in all the emotions and pray to God that it'll all go away soon... Like, this instant.

You only hurt as much as you love.

The feeling is overwhelming. Someone told me that my situation is highly complicated, "friends can be lovers, but lovers can never be friends." You lose every time.

"You know I love you too no matter what."

And so it ends.

Next chapter please.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-12-06T23:59:00.000+08:00

I don't think i'm happy... just yet.

People often time will say "you don't need to fit in...", "be the change, the breathe of fresh air". Bull crap.
I'm faced with the question "why did you I go back again?". I'm dumb. Chasing after something that doesn't seem to like me back. There you go, story of my life. A one liner.

The idea is sound but the execution still needs a lot of work.
While the idea of advertising has always been the creme de la creme of my aspirations in life-- having to affect people in 30 seconds or less... I just can't seem to crack it. When I thought I had figured it all out, I go and move to another agency, surrounded by new people handling a whole shit load of new accounts I need to master immediately... like yesterday. And yet I fumble here and there. It's not that apparent but I see certain hint of disappointment from my boss. I'm sorry. I'm trying, i really am.

Maybe i'm just really dumb.
Maybe i'm just really tired.
Maybe i just miss my crazy ass team from my previous agency.

Why am I in advertising again?

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-11-28T23:14:00.000+08:00

To be told "Kissing you was electric. It was THE kiss then, and i've yet to find another one that could compare"just made my night.

This guy describes me like how I describe food. Blissful.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-11-28T17:22:00.000+08:00

"There are three sides to every story".

There's your side, the other person... and then the truth.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-11-25T22:08:00.000+08:00

After everything that has been said and done, I never thought it could hurt much worse than it did.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. ~~Love like it's your last.~~

2011-11-17T17:56:00.001+08:00

It can't go back. It can only get worse.
But i'm not going to stand here and wait.

A new story.

Never look back. I've already told the story of my past and my present. Focus now should be the new stories I can tell. New stories I SHOULD tell.

It's probably why writing is therapeutic. You leave a big chunk of your past on the words you write down. And there lies all the emotions that goes with it. Trapped. Whether in an exclamation point, a suspension point or a period.

It always ends with a period.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-10-17T08:28:00.000+08:00

Advertising, in general, is a service not just for corporations but for consumers. It is a way to inform consumers, in any form of media, the choices that they have in this highly cluttered market. It is created in a language that they can easily understand and more importantly, is relevant to them.

6 years into advertising and it still amazes me how advertising materials can affect people's choice in a medium set within 30 seconds or less.

But more than creating languages that consumers will remember for decades, I often wondered if any of the ads I've made have actually evolved into action. Have the ads I helped create moved people beyond mere purchase?

More than a month ago, the new ad agency i'm working at gave me the chance to work on my very first pro-bono campaign. "For the love of..." and "Good training" were the key words given to me. It was a 360 campaign. I was new. I accepted.

The next couple of weeks were grueling. I was juggling real work with an entire campaign that wasn't giving our BU any profit. I almost died. Just "almost". While our CSD was there to help me out, I was almost running it in advertising side alone. My PR counterpart felt the same way. Oh wait, there were 2 of them. Daya.

"We're doing it for the kids" is what we kept chanting every time we'd do alignment meetings. "We'll go to heaven!"

Then came the presentation. I've made our client shed a tear. "Congratulations", they said.
Last week during the launch, Bro. Armin looked me in the eye, shook my hand and said the same thing. "Great job."

10 pesos made all the difference. A campaign that revolved around the value of such a nominal thing. 10 pesos, everyday for 10 months to help build 10,000 classrooms. I'm helping make an entire nation move to help make a better future for children, and consequently the future of our country. For that I am grateful.

www.tenmoves.org

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-10-16T22:45:00.000+08:00

Jinky finally realized she could drag me to impromptu gimiks as well... So on a lovely, steady, Sunday morning I ended up getting dragged all the way to Ateneo to watch her brother and boyfriend play football... habang tanghaling-tapat. "Daming boys." said Jinky. 'Yun na.

On the way, I just kept on thinking "S.R. Thai! S.R. Thai!". YEEEEEBA!
............
.....
...

Eh, nag-close na pala. O_o

So I ended up just asking one of the tricycle drivers in Katipunan where it was ok to eat.
"KEN Afford ma'am". 'Yun na.

Despite the renovations downstairs, Jinky and I were still able to find a table on the 2nd floor. (ang sosyal na talaga ng KEN Afford). I shared with her that this was one of the places me and my blockmates would have lunch at and how we used to eat there when "we had money".

Looking at our bill after ordering Garlic Kangkong with Chicken, Sisig with egg, Sweet and Sour fish, 2 cups of rice and 2 orders of Gulaman... I wondered why we thought it was expensive in the first place. Php395 lang. 'Yun na.

Erm. And yeah, we finished everything. 'Yun talaga.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-10-10T19:27:00.001+08:00

I'm tired. I'm just really tired.
Do what you want already but just keep me out of it.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-10-04T00:12:00.000+08:00

Despite the stress from work in my new office, good vibes kept on going my way!

1. When I thought I couldn't get a slot from the Aloha Boardsport and Travel Factor Surf & Music Festival in Baler, I get an email confirmation that I did! For only Php3,200, I get a roundtrip transfer, 3 days 2 nights accommodation with a Surf and Music Festival pass and some BBQ lunch and breakfast (which I will probably never get to use). STOKED!

2. I finally got confirmation... It's her not me! Weeeeee.

3. Last but finally not the least, I feel glad I'm doing my very first CSR campaign. :)

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-10-02T20:37:00.000+08:00

I often wondered how marriage will look like... say, 40 or 50 years after. Will it still have that spark, or semblance of romance as you look at each others wrinkley face? Will one look at the other in awe and still be able to say "i love you more now than the first time we met"?

Every Sunday, in mass, I always see this old couple together. I mean ancient old. It's obvious that the woman is younger than her husband. He can hardly sit-up straight and has a surgical mask on every time. They have a nurse that sits behind them too. The woman is pretty much active in mass-- kneeling, praying, reading. But in between verses and prayers she tends to her husband. She fixes his shirt, holds his hands while she prays and even whispers to him if he's 'ok'. There's so much devotion in her eyes and love as they clasp their hands together.

It saddens me though to see how frailer the old man gets every week. Like I said, I see this old couple every Sunday. A few weeks back, he still could stand up (assisted by the woman). Now, he could hardly sit upright. I saw his nurse hold his shoulders at one point. It looked as if he dozed off for a while. Phew.

"How devastating...", I thought. Imagine choosing to love someone for that long and then... So fragile. One can only imagine what could happen in the next weeks. I dread the day I see the woman alone in mass.

But that got me thinking, 'How lucky still'. To have actually met that person you can spend the rest of your life with. I've heard all the vows in all of my friends weddings but I never really quite understood "til death do us part" until I saw that old couple again today. Still very much in love as the first time I saw them in church.

I pray I can be so lucky.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-09-19T01:11:00.001+08:00

I was about to sleep when the thought of meat pies popped in my head (yes, i dream about food.) Then I remembered Melbourne...
~~~
Hidden in the alleyways of Melbourne is this quaint store called Dinkum Pies. A pinoy can liken it to the local Turo-Turo; You simply point at what you want and they give it to you.
My parents and I got lost walking around the city and passed by this alley filled with local establishments. Needless to say, Dinkum wasn't the most savory of them.
It looked old... run-down. In some way it looked dirty and dubious. In fact, my parents and I just ignored it thinking it was no good. But fate had another plan. My dad insisted on trying out the local pies. It was 'innately' Melbourne. Hungry as we were, we went to the nearest pie store we knew-- Dinkum Pies.
As we got in line we looked around at all the little knick- knacks they had inside. They had a lot of vintage stuff which looked more "old" than they did "vintage". The place looked unorganized but lo and behold, a pinay was present behind the counter. My mom immediately started a conversation.
"Masarap ba dito?" asked my mom.
"Ay, opo! Eto po yung paborito ng mga Australyano!"
My dad was too hungry to listen while I ADD'd by looking at what people ordered. Then I saw it. A sign.
Literally. It was a sign that was posted on the glass wall of Dinkum Pies. On a white bond paper, they printed the words "THE AGE Best pie in Melbourne 2010".

~~~
My parents and I ended up eating at one of Melbourne's best local pie place. Something you won't see shared in tourist brochures. We ended up going there every chance we we're in the city. It was real, warm, comfort food during winter in Australia.
That place was really something. There was something about the whole experience of eating your meal as a pie accompanied by this cleverly packaged tomato sauce. It was my Dayrit's away from home. My comfort- food-guilty-pleasure-childhood-memory-kind-of- fun in Australia. And I do miss it terribly.
http://jdereport.com.au/john-elliott%E2%80%99s-melbourne-fair-dinkum-aussie-pies/
http://lanewaymagazine.com.au/best-pie-melbourne/

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-09-18T21:00:00.000+08:00

I remember being in my teens and being teased as the white lady. My neighbors would tell me I "glowed in the dark". Wearing make-up really wasn't my thing. My face would get oily but nothing a simple wash can't cure.

Then I turned 28.

For some reason after I got back from my trip, I started breaking out. After a pimple dies down, another one pops out! Noticed that the scars don't heal as fast too and my so- called "freckles" are more obvious.
Nowadays, my morning routine involves using a cream to correct the spots, putting on powder and LOTS of concealer.

Concealer. I never used to hide anything. Now I can't live without it. :(

The worse thing about it is being an Account Director for a popular beauty product. At one meeting, forgetting to put on my ever dependable make-up and adequate amount of concealer, we talked about how age spots/sun spots/pimple marks become more obvious as you get older. They don't easily go away as you age. I covered my face immediately. I had them. I had them all. My client (who also happens to be my blockmate) told me, "hay naku Shali, bawal ang pangit sa account na to!" Jokingly, of course. (Half-meant most probably)

So there I was, challenged (and ugly). How do I correct this problem of mine?

It was simple, really. I market my brand as effective in addressing these problem, so why not put my money where my mouth is right? Which is why I'm finally taking the 7 day challenge.

Day 1 starts tomorrow.

Here's to aging gracefully.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-09-17T11:30:00.000+08:00

I finally said 'enough'. Apparently for my zodiac that's really the end of the line. It feels real this time too. What's more interesting though is that I can't find the quicksand anymore. I guess it's been such a long time that i've been in one I forgot I was already in it.

It doesn't feel like i'm in one though. The feeling isn't as crushing. It doesn't seem difficult to get back up from this one. Maybe banana boy is rubbing off on me. I suddenly don't mind.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-07-06T21:58:00.002+08:00

I was still in college when it happened. Starbucks. At night. He sat across the table with his hands on his face. He apologized, said that something happened the night before.

I walked out of there immediately. He followed and asked me to stop. I turned around and asked him 'Why?". 'Sorry.', he said.

"What do you want from me?" I pleaded.

"Nothing..."

"Then you get nothing."

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-03-22T22:58:00.000+08:00

quicksand. quicksand. you fall into another quicksand.
laladee da dumb.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-03-21T13:54:00.001+08:00

So true.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-03-06T23:45:00.001+08:00

"It's ok, you can cry"

Don't know what's worse... second guessing or knowing the truth.
Was never really a fan of destiny or fate, I guess.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-02-25T00:07:00.000+08:00

It's a bunch of nonsense really. Things a sane person would just turn away from... Nay, shun even. Then you ask yourself what is really good for you? Something that makes you happy or something that makes sense?

Meng raised the question best, "So what's the difference between then and now?"

Why even bother. It's like trying to read a blank wall. You'll just end up getting nothing. I've said it then and i'm saying it again now... you want nothing, you get nothing.

- ~~Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.~~ Ah, F#ck it.

2011-02-14T22:13:00.000+08:00

Hmmm. I'm not sure what to think anymore.
Maybe Melissa's right. I need to be pried out...

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-01-31T15:18:00.000+08:00

Ugh. I think it's the fact that February is tomorrow already. But really diggin this song from NeYo-- "Laying Around". Makes me feel all giddy inside.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-01-23T23:30:00.001+08:00

Watched the new Green Hornet movie starring Seth Rogen and Jay Chou today. Laughed my ass off!

One of my favorite lines?

Britt: So where are you from?

Kato: I'm from Shanghai, I don't know if you're familiar with it...

Britt: Oh yeah! I love Japan...

It's definitely a movie to watch in the cinema (finally something worthwhile again!) Despite the comedic punch lines the movie still kicks ass. Kato is as awesome as ever... and cuter! I heart you Jay Chou!

I'm not too sure about the bionic treatment though. But love- love- love the action scenes... and the humor Seth Rogen brings to the franchise. It's definitely not the TV series, so be careful Hornet aficionados. (and I only refer to the TV series cause I used to watch it with my brother. I mean Bruce Lee was Kato. Who wouldn't watch that?!?!?)

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-01-23T23:04:00.001+08:00

The Tech gods hate me this weekend. I managed to reset my mobile phone and my mac. I have no idea how. I think it has something to do with the fact that they are basic and obsolete.
Time for an upgrade I guess.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2011-01-15T12:57:00.001+08:00

Its almost 1pm already on a beautiful Saturday. I haven't slept much considering the mishaps that's been happening on our (various) partner's end.. therefore making my life's purpose this week doing crisis management. At least since yesterday.

But more than being stressed... actually i'm not stressed at all, strangely enough... I'm just blank right now. Sleepy, but can't sleep given the adrenaline rush i've been having from talking to these people. I'm left craving for certain things (no, not that.) I feel like gorging on fabulous kosher food but I don't feel like cooking or leaving the house. I want to be pampered. "Someone get me my Starbucks Tall Cafe Mocha!" (and I want the whip and the whole fat-filled high in sugar enchilada). "Someone drive me to Touch n Heal for my free 2 hour massage!" "Someone take me to La Union or Zambales right now so I can be with the beach again and surf!"

It's depressing, and I'm hating myself for being like this.

I'm slowly getting my pale colored skin back again. I think my skin's color is directly proportional to my happiness...

Pale Skin= Haven't gone to the beach= Depression.
Tanned= Nagbabad sa beach= Happiness.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Family.

2010-12-26T09:53:00.001+08:00

About a month ago my dad bought those lights that come in a tube/hose. If my special christmas decoration for the house was the Christmas crane tree, his were the lights in front of our house. He wanted to spell out "Merry Christmas" with the hose lights. And he did, successfully. Being thrifty as he is, he told my mom "I will open it near Christmas day... para tipid sa kuryente...". Then the day came. Unfortunately, "Merry Christmas" was just "Merry Ch". Baffled, he took down his design, scratched his head and chuckled as my mom gave him 'the look'. Needless to say, he had to work around the problem. We ended with lining up the gate with "christmas balls".

~~~

Mom loves to cook and bake. She also loves the praises that comes after eating her dish. Last night, last minute, she decides to bake some bibingka. She got it from one of those Nestle classes she's been attending at Rockwell. My tita and my cousins were going to have dinner at our house so while I was busy preparing for that, she baked away. I left her in the kitchen. She was pacing back and forth from the table to the mixer to the oven. (You wouldn't want to be in the line of fire.) An hour after my tita and my cousins arrived and her bibingka was ready. Though it tasted good, it didn't look like bibingka except for the banana leaf wrapped around it and the egg on top of it. She apologized for how it looked but we all said "No, it's great! Don't worry about..." Nyeeeaah... we all still finished it.

~~~

This is the great thing about family. Growing up you'll try to pinpoint all the bad stuff you don't like about your family, and then you hear yourself say "I hate you" (because they didn't let you out of the house). But as you get older you tend to appreciate them more, even when "unfortunate" things happen. It's what makes them special, I think. Their little mistakes. Little imperfections that make them uniquely yours. Despite all the unfortunate events, we're still there for each other. They say you can choose your friends but you can't choose family. I'm so glad I have what I have.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-12-18T15:12:00.000+08:00

My Bakla is finally leaving. I'm so proud and happy for him... but I do feel sad at the same time. It's like Panget leaving all over again... :(

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Note: Read past entry "Si Panget" for reference.

2010-12-11T01:48:00.001+08:00

Yeah. Great. Happy weekend.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-12-07T01:56:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine posted a video on my facebook wall done by some guy who went snowboarding one glorious morning after snowing heavily the night before. Location? Tahoe.

Dom told me about the wonderful world of snowboarding back in LA. I think we were at the Cheesecake Factory... Mmmm Pomegranate Margaritas... Drool... (Hi Joyce and Joanne!)

So he went on and on about the surfing conditions in California, then I shared my non-glorious experience with wakeboarding and then he slowly transitions into snowboarding. He blurts out "So is your flight back to Manila this friday already?" I responded,"Yeah...". Then he tells me "Tsk Sayang, I was gonna take you to Tahoe for some snowboarding! There's still snow up there! Extend ka na!"

Bastard.

He then tells me about the perfect snow. "Powder", he said. "It's like gliding on clouds". It's ideal to snowboard when it just snowed the night before. It's even better for beginners since powder snow is soft... so falling ain't that bad. Better than getting dragged from a wakeboarding towrope, I guess. (NOTE: wakeboarding is not only painful, it can dampen your morale and self- esteem... Buti pa surfing... higher chance of drowning nga lang... and sharks... and getting hit by the reef or corals... or your own surfboard... or some korean tourist's surfboard. Oh yeah, I remember you Bacnotan b@tch!)

I had my chance in California. Maybe i'll have a better chance in Melbourne. Victoria Peak here I come!

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-12-05T20:38:00.000+08:00

People channel their energies somewhere else to escape or avoid something. Maybe it's true. A quick escape from stress, depression or just simply a bad day. I used to go to a park inside our village when I was younger. It was my secret hideaway. Not much people went there. With all the renovations and the new covered court installed, it's now considered one of the busiest parks inside the village.

I get drawn to silence. There are times I want to shut out everything in the world. Hence my love for my big red orange WeSC headphones, leisure drives, surfing and cooking. Things that are done alone and with utmost focus.

Cooking. More than just getting to eat decent food way cheaper than any restaurant can offer, cooking has become a zen-like meditation for me. I don't talk to anyone. No one bothers me when i'm cooking in the kitchen. It's just me, those wonderful knives and my ingredients. All my senses are open-- Sight, smell, touch, taste and hearing. Everything you experience as you go through the process of making a dish. But no matter how simple or complicated, the pay-off is worth it. Inner peace. And you get to celebrate by eating that wonderful dish... or laugh at how you ended up creating a new variation of that dish.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-11-30T11:22:00.001+08:00

I laid there exposed, trying to keep my composure. I can do this, I whispered. I knew Elma could feel me tense up. Don't worry, she said, Relax.

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPP!!!

F@^#in A! That one hurt like hell! Elma pressed down her finger, she seems to think it would lessen the pain. She's crazy to think so. Elma then tells me how she sometimes doesn't like what she does for a living.

There's this other woman who comes here often as well. But before I even start, she shakes in fear... Every time. Once, I asked her if we should still continue, she yelled "Yes! Just do it!".

She sounded sincere with her concern. So I held my breath like I held my screams, as she yanked those suckers out, one patch at a time.

Elma, isa kang bayani.

- Elma, Bikini Waxer.
California Nails and Day Spa.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-11-29T22:41:00.000+08:00

Greg said it best, guys aren't complicated beings. Women just make them complicated.
It's either they want you or they don't.
No excuses. No bullshit.

And yet i'm still driven to believe in the fairytale i've drafted in my head....

Hay. Still in Greg's therapy.
You can do it Sha!

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Smart Ass

2010-11-26T08:05:00.002+08:00

Who you say? Me of course. I'm smart, AND i've got an ass. U-huh!

The last couple of months has been crazy. Everyone in the house haven't had any decent sleep since the two new puppies opened their eyes. Mom decided to make them sleep in the dirty kitchen, the room between the actual house and outside. There's a screen door separating the dirty kitchen and the backyard, and with alagang pusakals walking around the backyard, the dogs get rowdy everytime they see some unfamiliar cat. Like our pusakals have some friends come over when we're not around.

The dogs bark. OMG, do they get pissed. I have a theory that these cats taunt our dogs incessantly... maybe looks through the screen door, gives them the middle finger, makes belat and say "nyeh- nyeh- nyenyenye". Pwede ring "bal". But for whatever reason, we end up waking up in the middle of the night, trying to shut our dogs up, getting mad or making them lambing. Alabang has a strict policy about these things. Based on experience our neighbors may pagkamasungit...

So last night, before I went on to cook my Chorizo de Bilbao rice, and before my lola went to sleep, I told her "La, I have an experiment." I got pieces of newspaper and some tape. Crudely, I covered the lower half of the screen door. Insight is, if you were the one sleeping outside and some idiot kept on walking around the vicinity of where you were sleeping, wouldn't you get pissed off? Wouldn't you get scared and try to yell at them to go away? I'd probably gun them down.

So there I was. All 5 dogs just watched curiously as I covered their little window outside. I had to make sure there were no big holes enough for these rascals, or for those dumb cats to peep at.

Woke up at 730am. I got some applause from my parents and my lola for the feat. No one woke up in the middle of the night... No incessant barking... Silence once again.

Damn i'm smart.

with piolo...

with alice and baket

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

INTRAPERSONAL CONVERSATION

2010-11-22T11:13:00.000+08:00

S1: Congratulations! In one weekend, you've managed to have the best and the worst time of your life!
S2: It's not as if I intended it to be. I was actually trying to make it a really good one...
S1: serves you right
S2: i know. in so many ways...
S1: don't cry.
S2: i don't want to...
S1: so why did you this morning?
S2: bitch.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-11-21T22:20:00.000+08:00

Dare to dream a dream.

~~~

A friend of mine told me once that the kind of relationship you have is reflected in one simple gesture-- holding hands.

"Clasped hands" can just mean friends where some guy actually acts like a gentleman and of course your cliche "lovingly intertwined hands" where sometimes "may pa-sway sway pa.."

My friend's rambling wasn't about holding hands, it was about the lack of it.

His problem at that time was he didn't want to hold hands with his girlfriend... especially in public. There were too many "issues" he said, too much baggage. He was ashamed to be seen holding hands with her.
He obviously had issues with the relationship in general.

He told me, when you're with someone you should be proud to hold their hands for people to see. It's a sense of me-to-her and her-to-me kind of thing. I hold her hand and she holds mine back. A subtle yet honest gesture of assurance... of security, care and above all love.

In it's simplest and truest form.
Hold my hand if you love me. Hold my hand for all to see.

Months after they broke up we started going out. He held my hand when we were at the mall. He held my hand the entire day until he took me home.
- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

OH. EM. GEE. PARENTAL GUIDANCE IS REQUIRED.

2010-11-21T06:43:00.001+08:00

You gotta love Cosmo...

Sometimes I feel like I have to urinate during sex. I've heard that G-spot stimulation can cause that sensation, but I get so freaked out I'll wet the bed that I lose my arousal. What should I do?

Several sexual positions stir up internal sensations that scare many women into thinking they might spray the sheets. This feeling can be caused by your partner's penis putting pressure on your bladder. But, as you suspect, it could also be a sign that he's stimulating your G-spot. To find out what's causing the need-to-pee feeling, go to the bathroom before you get frisky. If the gotta-go urge creeps up when you're between the sheets, make a beeline for the loo. While this might slow down the momentum of your lovemaking, it's better than letting wet-the-bed worry completely kill the mood.

If you've emptied your bladder and still feel like you have to tinkle when you get back to business, your man has probably hit your G-spot jackpot. You may notice it most when having sex from behind, if you're on top or when you're lying under him with your pelvis slightly lifted. Once the G-spot is stimulated to the point of swelling, the feeling ordinarily subsides and, with further massaging, could lead to a body-quivering, mind-blowing orgasm. For some women, G-spot stimulation causes spontaneous emission of a somewhat clear fluid (that's not urine) from the urethra, before, during, or after coming that can range from a few drops to amini-flood. While female ejaculation is a hotly debated issue, many women claim to have experienced it.

for the full article go to cosmo.com

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-11-20T23:17:00.001+08:00

Budj shared a link for an online book, aptly called "An Awesome Book!". Brilliantly done I must say. It certainly got me reading through it in one sitting!
1. It was a short book...
2. Also because it was filled with children's drawings that I could very well have drawn... (probably why Budj tagged me...)

But being tagged with the likes of Russel Molina, Nida Ramirez and Kajo is a huge responsibility! I felt I had to respond in a Frasier- like- witty- retort kind of way... I ended up posting this instead...

superlike budj! some thoughts though:

1. I don't believe that people don't dream about musical baboons. That's just plain crazy.
2. I'm already working on training raccoons with my trumpet... so that won't be just a dream anymore. Wish me luck.
3. It was only at the end that I realized the book was for children.

After clicking "post", it was only then I realized I'm such a dork! "...already working on training raccoons..." WTF was I thinking? I should have gone with the one-liner-New York Post- kind- of- comment like "Brilliant." or a Sev Sarmenta review "It was definitely an in-depth look into one's loss of innocence as one comes of age cleverly articulated in a language of children's storybook..."

Fucking screwed it up. I could have made a cool impression with the greats.

To read the book, go to http://veryawesomeworld.com/awesomebook/inside.html.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

A Christmas Story.

2010-11-19T11:40:00.000+08:00

It all started with Alabang Carpool. (Yay Alabang 1!) I was in senior year, college, when the Woodrose girls decided to hold a Christmas party for the SOS Children's Village in Alabang. They extended the invitation to all of us in the carpool. It wasn't that hard to coordinate really, we had a Yahoogroup...

Typical of an Atenean, everyone wanted to help out and volunteer... and maybe quietly just wanted to add this to their list of being "men and women for others". Admittedly, they simply had me at "We're serving Jollibee!"

So there I was, spending my weekend in a place I knew nothing about, which was weird considering I lived just a couple of blocks away from it.

And then I met them. All of them.

As we pulled in the driveway a big group of kids ran towards us, all smiles. "Handlers", as I called the social workers/volunteers taking care of the kids (at that time), were with them. So many makulit kids. At one time. OH. MY. GOD. I told myself.

They probably saw me panicking. And so they explained.

~~~

SOS Children's Village is no ordinary village. It's home for a number of children. Not "a home" but "home". Difference lies in the fact that it's no orphanage. No adoption required, no unnecessary anticipation on when some couple will want to pick a kid out of a slew of other kids... like puppies for sale. It's not temporary. It's a real home.

There were about 8 houses inside the compound, each one with around 10-15 kids. Each house had a mother that lives with them. SOS Mothers are unique. They remain single and devote their lives, until they retire at age 60, to care for the children as their own.

The dynamics are the same. They go to school, they do their chores and they get scolded by their mom when they do something bad.

~~~

Out of nowhere a little boy tugged the side of my pants. He stared at me for a while. He obviously hasn't washed his face. He smiled, and asked me "kasama po kayo?". I nodded. And then he took my hand.

We made our way to their little activity center inside where the Woodrose girls had set up their little party treat for the kids. The little boy kept on making kwento. Quite the babbler that kid. They started serving the Jollibee lunch-- Spaghetti with Chickenjoy. Mmmm. The little kids face lit up even more.

Stupid cute kid. Ended up giving him my share of Chickenjoy and Chocolate Sundae.

~~~

It's been five years since that happened. That kid's all grown up now. I've never stopped helping or visiting especially during Christmas. It's always nice to know you're a big part of building someone's home, and most of all how much you influence a little kid's happiness no matter how small the gesture.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-11-18T11:57:00.000+08:00

I'm waiting for meetings today and all I can think of is what I can cook this weekend.
http://www.chow.com/recipes?tag=chow_top_nav;chow_top_nav_inner

CHOW. Just one of the great sites online where you can browse through any and all kinds of recipes. I get all giddy with the idea of roasting a chicken, buttering vegetables and drizzling fresh parmesan cheese over cooked pasta. It's just like Christmas morning. Only you can cook it any damn time you want!

Right now i'm eyeing this bucatini recipe.

You know there is a God. Bliss!

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-11-11T07:58:00.000+08:00

http://www.facebook.com/Boo

Damn dog. So cute it's starting to get annoying. Tsk.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Robyn: Dancing on My Own

2010-11-10T17:36:00.000+08:00

Hay. :(

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-11-09T22:36:00.003+08:00

Funny thing just happened at home. I got a call from my mom... who's in the other room.

~~
Mom: Where's your dad?
Sha: eh? I don't know... why are you asking me?
M: He left his phone and didn't tell me where he was going...
S: Maybe he went walking or something... he didn't bring a car.
M: Asan si Jinky?
S: I dunno... probably in ATC. Why'd you ask?
M: Baka kasi nakina Tito Joseph mo...
...
... (long pause)
...
S: uhm... I don't want to call Jinky just to ask if my dad's at their house...
M: Sabagay... weird no?
~~

After a while I heard my dad fussing around in the living room. I texted my mom.

"Your husband is here."

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-11-09T21:43:00.000+08:00

You know you're getting addicted when you spell "glass tumbler" as "glass tumblr".

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-11-09T16:53:00.000+08:00

I miss my hair... :(

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-11-02T23:17:00.001+08:00

I'm in a state of euphoria. My arms are numb right now and it's hard for me to type. But the cause of this delirium must. be. shared.

The culprit? Hot packs. Those aromatherapy hot packs. Paired with a really good minty massage oil... Daaaaaammmnnn.

I decided to put some of that new massage oil I bought at a recent trade expo around my neck and shoulders. I figured, might as well use the hot pack I got for my birthday as well... As soon as the heat from the pack came in contact.... Oh. My. God. My arms became putty. Seriously. Oh. My. God. My arms are melting.

Hot packs. It's the only way to go.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Sunday chaos

2010-10-24T11:19:00.000+08:00

Lovely scene at home. My dad (the only guy in the house) reading the newspaper on the couch while three generations of women are cooking in their own portion of the kitchen-- lola's working on the kitchen outside, mom's in the new kitchen inside and i'm working on the grill...

lavhet.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-10-23T23:52:00.000+08:00

It's one of those days when you don't think of "I need to go out". For whatever reason though, tonight didn't feel as forced.

I decided to just watch movies today at home. To catch up on movies I missed in the last couple of months, like A-Team and, believe it or not, SATC 2. I saved the best for last of course. A-Team was awesome! ;p

It's a steady Saturday night. Enjoyed watching the movies while having merienda, dinner and late night snack with some wine... (Hey, don't judge me... I watched 3 movies straight)

Yeah, the two week leave I took paid off. I finally appreciate the idea of just "relaxing at home".

....

But then maybe, just maybe, it has also something to do with partying too much the night before.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-10-22T10:35:00.000+08:00

E-Pass= FAIL. big time. such a hassle now.

Driving your car in Makati when it's coded and getting away with it= WIN.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-10-19T20:59:00.000+08:00

Three recipes.

1. Omelette du fromage. You gotta love Dexter for ingraining it in my brain. It's the breakfast of champions... after tocino of course... bacon and eggs... and spam.

2. Scallops baked with bacon and butters sauce with reduced white wine... Need I say more? It's the best panlambing for daddies i.e. "can i please have the car back dad?"

3. Strawberry cheesecake. Not as picture perfect since i'm eating it while i'm typing this entry. They say you need to learn how to make bread instead of just taking it from someone. I say learn to make cheesecake and eat it. Eat it all... or share it.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-10-13T18:50:00.000+08:00

Made steamed italian fish fillet for dinner. Really easy. You can use any white fish you have in the house. I had to make do with dory.

Get some foil and make a small wall around the fish to keep the sauce inside. Season it with olive oil, salt and pepper, italian seasoning, some fresh lemon and of course butter... :) Cover the foil and let it steam. Small fish like this would probably only take around 15-20 minutes in the steamer.

But alas, I think my mood really does affect what I cook. It's good... but it's not great. Or maybe it just ruins my appetite...

Blah.

Enjoy nevertheless.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-10-13T17:57:00.000+08:00

You know you did a good dish if you still have leftovers and you still want to eat it the next day... or a couple of days after that.

I made pasta margherita the other day and as I was scouring for something to snack on (since I finally woke up from yesterday...) I saw my leftover sauce. I figured what the hell, make pizza margherita!

Butter some wheat bread, place the sauce and mozzarella on top. Toast it!

It's good to cook and eat again... well, at least while i'm cooking my steamed italian fish fillet for dinner... :D

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-10-11T10:34:00.000+08:00

My own version of eggs benedict.

Butter, butter, butter. God bless the soul of whoever invented butter. :)

Toast some wheat bread on a teflon pan with butter. Once one side is done, flip it over and crack open an egg and place it on top. In this one I used quail eggs cause they're so darn cute. Season with salt and pepper and some parmesan cheese. God bless the soul of whoever invented cheese as well.

Cover the pan so the heat can cook the egg on top. Now this is when it gets tricky. If you're like my dad who likes their eggs malasado, just let the egg cook on top while keeping the lid on. Try cooking it with a glass cover so you won't get praning and keep on opening the lid. (Shame on you... ) However, if you're like me who wants it over easy (which is very similar to how I want to end any kind of relationship...), you gotta flip the bread again to cook the yolk. Easy right? No. Stop kidding yourself. It's not.

It's the concept of meeting halfway. As you flip the bread tilt the pan as well so you won't make too much of a mess and ruin your breakfast. Have some respect. You just aborted a quail.

Once you're ok with your egg and your toast, place it on a plate, put some cheddar cheese and some fresh basil. You can sprinkle on more parmesan cheese and drizzle some lemon if you want some zest...

Enjoy it. Savor it. Love it... :D

Good Morning!

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

oops.

2010-10-10T19:06:00.000+08:00

Oops. I opened a bottle without looking at the label. I opened the Mondavi by accident.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-10-10T18:41:00.000+08:00

Two dishes for tonight...

1. Pasta Margherita (using Rigatoni)

- Slowly cook your regular basil and tomato pasta sauce with red wine and serve with mozarella and parmesan. You can cook it with any type of pasta, but preferably rigatoni or penne. It just so happens that I love rigatoni... I really do. It's crazy.

2. Sauteed shrimp with butter, garlic and peppers

- Make sure the shrimps are pat dry before sauteing it in butter and garlic. Add cubed bell peppers and don't forget to season it with salt and pepper. I prefer to eat it on toasted bread. Im sosi like that.

And of course don't forget your white wine and make sure you enjoy it with people you love. :)

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-10-07T10:41:00.002+08:00

Will cook 1 new dish everyday for the next 14 days. It's a personal experiment-- "Cooking for Therapy". Thank you Julie & Julia.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-10-04T00:10:00.002+08:00

It's usually every "ber" months that I see this scenario. Kids on the road, knocking on your window begging for money. Different from those selling sampaguitas on the street. A young mom, carrying her baby with a sorry face asking for help to feed her baby.

The next year you see the same mom, carrying a different baby. All of a sudden, you see the same baby from the year before and she's grown enough to be doing the knocking on your window.

You wait after a couple more years, and a couple more after that. Then you see the same young mom on the street, pregnant once again, carrying her new born baby, with all her other kids knocking on everyone's car window including your own. Then you ask yourself, is the bill really that bad?

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-09-26T16:17:00.000+08:00

I've been listening to a lot of Hip Hop, RnB and other dance music lately. It's great to move out and about, move your feet like there's no tomorrow, but I had a weird craving this morning. I looked through the records we bought from Vegas and the Rasputin store in LA and there they were... The Kinks, Aerosmith, Alice Cooper, Yes, Deep Purple and all the other rock legends.

It's nice to just chill on a Sunday with authentic rock music.

Don't worry, I got the Shining Album in vinyl from Quicksilver too.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

First time mo?

2010-09-15T13:29:00.000+08:00

The bar wasn't really that full. Some were dancing, others were drinking while the rest were on the prowl. The music was amazing and so were the videos being projected behind the DJ. And then, there I was, sprawled on the couch. Wasted.

"Is this what i've been missing??!?!" I kept on yelling that the whole night.

Hay. Ang saya.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-09-03T01:53:00.000+08:00

It's been awhile. But a friend gave me another reason to write.

"With your 27 years of experience, how would you describe each: Life, Time, Love and Chocolates?"

Life. Constantly changing. Growing up you undergo the changes yourself, consciously or unconsciously. As you get older you realize you yourself experience the changes around you. You either swim with it or sink. Then you learn to adapt. You need to adapt. Then you learn to let go. You enjoy life by simply adapting and learning how to let go.

Time. Time's always too short. But see, you'll never really have enough time until you make time. So find time.

Love. You only hurt as much as you love. The only good thing I see in feeling devastated is knowing you gave it your all, and that you are capable of such deep and profound connection. It what makes living worthwhile. At the end of the day, you're still alive right?

Chocolate. Though i'd hate to quote Forrest Gump, life IS like a box of chocolate. At one point it can be bittersweet and the next, it can be the best piece you ever had.
Second route for this one is the fact that regardless of the kind of chocolate you get, you can always depend on it to make you happy. As a woman, all you really ask for in life is something that'll make you happy.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

How we made everyday kainan, happiness!!!

2010-08-09T17:45:00.000+08:00

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-08-04T20:54:00.000+08:00

tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock. rewind please.

Fate has a weird way of playing with my life. Always at the last minute. I'm left with a whole lot of "bad timings" and wrong ones. Some are even "maybe next lifetime".

Could have been. Would have been. Should have been.

Blech.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-08-01T14:01:00.001+08:00

And so life really does move on.
I watched an episode of "How i met your mother" and they talked about what happens when someone just gets out of a relationship. 6 months they said. 6 months of concentrating on work. It takes 6 months worth of work, after a break up when they finally meet the man they end up with. Honey, i'm past that already... so where's my f@k*n# ring?! lol.
Another theory I've been hearing is when you least expect it, when you're no longer looking for "the one", someone suddenly presents their-selves.
Maybe I am looking, not that hard definitely, but still looking.
Maybe i'll try again next year.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Living with no regrets

2010-07-25T14:44:00.000+08:00

Aya has been constantly reminding me about taking chances... to always go for what makes me happy, to go for things that I want to do and to have. She always asks me "if you were gonna die tomorrow, what will you be doing now?"

It's funny, the idea of living happily, without any kind of apprehension. Easier said than done I guess. I've gone through many disappointments in my life to know that however passionate you are about something, however in love you are with an idea or someone, that you don't always get what you want. Though it may seem that fate is pointing you to that direction, more than hesitating, you know in your heart that it shouldn't be or rather, IT can't be.

So you learn. Adapt. You let go. Before you know it, the world has turned around again and your faced with a new set of choices to make. Never ending.

They say if your heart wants it so much, the universe will conspire to help you get it. Well if you're listening Mr. Universe, please don't mind my screaming heart. It's currently under renovation.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-07-08T22:27:00.000+08:00

I was at the office by 8:30am and tried waking myself up through coffee to compile materials for my 10am meeting with client. Then I had to rush to another meeting at 11am. Client was kind enough to serve us some sodas. Unfortunately, my 11am meeting took more than an hour so I was late for my 12noon meeting. Was on standby with the rest of the team 'til around 1pm where we met and presented items until around past 2pm. Had late lunch, which I didn't enjoy as much. I was palpitating like crazy cause of all the caffeine. When I got back in the office, I had to rush some JOs and JREV forms, checked FAs, briefed creatives, briefed another set of creatives and aligned with the bosses.

I felt like vomiting but had too much work to squeeze it in my to-do list.
You gotta love the rush.

Maybe Meng's right. I am retarded.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Daydreaming

2010-07-06T00:05:00.000+08:00

Everyone dreams, but not all will remember.

I'm definitely one of those. But I do have my share of daydreaming. I daydream a lot about living by the beach. Not a fancy- shmancy beach house but a real home.

On good days, I just float on the water... while on harsher days, I surf the waves.

I wake up to the sound of crashing waters which, coincidentally, also serenades me to sleep.

On some sunsets, I just leave my board on the porch while I take a walk along the shore... (maybe with a retriever even...)

There are times when I just wait patiently on the beach for another luminous sunrise.

There are nights when the sky is so clear, you'd think there were more stars than space.

During isolated days, when no one bothers to be at the beach, I swim naked with nothing but the sun on my back.

I cook for myself, my family and friends who bother to pass by. I serve them the bounties of the ocean and fresh ingredients from my humble garden.

I don't bother with the rudeness and the chaos of urban life anymore.

I am happy.

I am content.

A girl can dream right?
- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-07-02T02:20:00.000+08:00

I'm starting to hate these past couple of days... Not because of work though (although it does merit some due acknowledgment) But it's the fact that I haven't really had a decent meal since I got back. Decent, meaning a meal that was prepared properly and presented in a manner that even the great artists of the past would commend. A meal that was passionately cooked to perfection that it not only satisfied every corner of your stomach but enlivens all of your senses down to your very soul. A meal that was savored and indulged, never devoured.

I am not a barbarian! I refuse to be one.

I don't like eating fast. Never did. It's like eating alone, or maybe even worse. Everything smells and tastes like crap. I try to eat for the sake of eating but nothing appeals to me the way it used to. My tongue feels like it's suddenly comatose (cause i'm sure it's not dead yet). I can't... taste. It's like it doesn't care if it's too sweet, too sour or too much of anything. I can't tell anymore.
I want it back...please, lord, give it back...

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-07-01T17:35:00.002+08:00

Control Sha. Konting control.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Random blurb

2010-06-25T20:49:00.000+08:00

Life's too short to dwell on the bad things. Find inspiration in the littlest and simplest things and you'll always find something to smile about.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

On spreading your wings and coming home.

2010-06-21T14:33:00.000+08:00

It's been 21 days since I left for my vacation and it's so nice to be finally back.
The itinerary was simple, spend my vacation with family and friends in Las Vegas- San Francisco- Los Angeles. Each one had a story to tell, but one thing that they all had in common was this statement:
"It's always nice to see people from back home cause they bring so much of the Philippines with them... so I always make an effort to hang out with them. But if you ask me if I want to go back, the answer is no. I'd still much rather stay here."

~~~

Las Vegas. Awesome.
The city that never sleeps... or would never make you sleep. From the moment our plane landed, my parents and I got dragged from one house to the next to rekindle connections with our relatives and old friends. Pass the well-lit hotels at the strip, strip bars and Chippendale billboards, we crossed streets called Frank Sinatra. By 12 midnight, the whole shebang ended and a new welcome wagon greeted me. I finally was with my best gal, Joyce. Despite having jetlag and being tired from the flight, Joyce told me to dress up so we could go clubbing. And clubbing we did.
That whole weekend seemed a blur, only because it felt as if the partying never stopped. From that night, we went to the Jet club at the Mirage, the Wet Republic pool party in MGM Grand and the Rain club at the Palms the next day. It was a surreal and thrilling experience to just go do what people usually do in Vegas-- Party. Non-stop. And yeah, even experiencing crotch dancing and meeting Levy the "big giant"-with-a-little-kid-in-his-pants was something I wouldn't miss for the world.
By the time I had to meet up with my parents, I was already exhausted. That was it for me in Vegas but my uncle thought otherwise. My lack of sleep and hangover was highly disregarded. I felt crappy as we made our way to the Nevada desert for some Wild West action even until the next day when we visited Hoover dam. One thing I learned though, Vegas is hot AND expensive. It was kind of strategic to only stay there for a couple of days.

San Francisco. Breath-taking.
Ah, San Francisco. I finally understand what the song "I left my heart in San Francisco" means. The city by the bay is definitely a place you need to visit when you go to California. Despite it being colder than usual for summer, the place is absolutely beautiful. As we made our way around the city for the tour, each location took my breathe away. It's a small city and finding transportation is very easy that i'm proud to say I could take the Bart from Oakland back to San Francisco alone! You could take the no-frills mode of transportation like the bus or Bart, or choose to take a more scenic route and take the cable car. You can't go wrong in the bay area. It's a good mix of eccentricities, ethnicity and culture. You could take the Cable car to Fisherman's wharf, or take the Bart to the beach (or Union Square) or take a ride all the way to Napa Valley for some culture.
I remember sitting on one of the benches of the look-out point by the Golden Gate bridge and eating a sandwich. It was a foggy day, but as the clouds cleared up and the sun was out you know that you were meant to be at that spot at that moment. Even jogging around Joyce's place was amazing. We were jogging along Alameda beach that morning and I remember being distracted because right across the water was San Francisco. I told her how wonderful it must feel to see it every morning before she goes to work and be welcomed by it when she gets home and she replied as- a- matter- of- fact a stern "yeah".
San Francisco has my heart all right. Despite all the wackos and drug dealers that roam around 6th and 7th street, it's definitely a place I want to go back to again.

Los Angeles.
Though we stayed in the city longer than the others, I can't quite describe this place. It was a big city and I found it difficult to go around from one place to the next without a car. The streets were easy enough to point out in the map but there were so much bus routes that when my uncle would give me directions on which numbered bus to take, i'd zone out.
The weather was much bearable during the day than it was in SF but it did get cold at night. The beach was amazing though! But seeing people surf in Venice and Santa Monica beach made me miss home. Actually, a lot of things in LA made me miss home. Maybe it was because I was homesick by this time.
The good things in LA though? The food, beach and shopping! Places I loved were Ross, Marshall, Kohls, Nordstrom rack, Farmers Market, The Grove and the loooooong stretch of beaches, from Venice beach to Santa Monica. My aunt knew a lot of the good places to eat so we did go on a "healthy" diet (which just means we had an abundance of food). We had Thai, Brazilian BBQ, ribs, pies at Dupar's and the oh-so-to-die-for chocolate chip cookies from The Bakery around the corner.
The best experience in this place though? Was being on the train with Laker fans after game 6 and watching game 7 at a pub in Farmers market with friends and family. Who knew I liked watching basketball?!? But like they say, when in Rome, do as the Romans do...

~~~

I won't change anything that happened in the trip, even the little arguments my parents would have (usually its all the shopping and what to place in the balikbayan box ek) so yeah, I know for a fact my family cannot survive Amazing Race let alone win it... But the three of us knew that we wanted to go home already. That though this place is way hotter, and you can work your ass off and won't get as far... home is still home. You can be awarded a green card and be a citizen but you can never take away being Pinoy. It's no wonder Filipino communities abroad are always tight, they have no one else to turn to but their own.
It was always funny how OFWs would talk to us, regardless where we were, when they hear us talking in Tagalog. It would always go like this:

"Kamusta! Pinoy rin pala kayo?"

"Taga san kayo sa Pinas? "

"Ah, taga- (insert province here) ako!"

"Alam niyo mahirap lang dito pero masmaganda pa rin kaysa sa Pinas..."

"Dito na lang kayo!"

If I charged a dollar for every time I was told "lipat ka na dito!" i'd have enough to pay for that darn tattoo I wanted in LA. Tsk. But maybe San Francisco is not so bad... Then again I can only take so much of speaking english non-stop. Nag nosebleed ata ako ng slight.

I'm so glad i'm home.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

The Big "V"

2010-05-29T01:27:00.000+08:00

It's the final night before the trip. The feeling is a mixture of excitement and fear. The discovery of a new place, new culture, and new ways to party. I. CAN'T. WAIT.

I wish the situation was different. That I'd have more friends to go with me. Don't get me wrong. Joyce is enough already considering we haven't really hung out together like we used to... and now Vegas becomes our tambayan. But it's the feeling of wanting all your friends to experience the same things, same adventure that you're taking.

I guess there are just some adventures you need to take alone.

~~~

Wish me luck. I'll try to document all of the adventures and misadventures i'll be having in the next 3 weeks.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-05-24T23:57:00.001+08:00

Im sitting on a pile of clothes I weeded out from my closet. Breaktime muna. I started around 9pm trying to pack some of my clothes for the trip and thought i'd clean out my closet once again. It's almost 12 midnight and I haven't even placed one single clothing in my bag. One thing I realized though... I really need a new closet.

~~~

Had a beer with Aya earlier. We talked about how nice the ice-cold beer was, how we can pair up Japs and Denise (the new design girl) and how I should make my decision about Australia.

The pressure is still there. Mom just told me yesterday, nonchalantly, that my brother was "processing IT" already. Didn't really bother to clarify if "IT" included me or just them. Maybe I just really didn't want to hear about the process. I told Aya the scenarios playing in my head-- "he's my only brother, and his baby will be my first ever pamangkin; "my family will be there". And then she said it;

Stop making decisions because of other people. This is a decision YOU want. Don't think about how your brother will feel, not even your mom. Do what will make YOU happy and no one else. You are in the best position to make these kinds of decisions.

So if I ask you right away where you want to go where would it be?

Her words were crates of truth I needed to hear. The most interesting was this,

I'll tell you what I told the others, 'write your obituary'. Write how you would want to be remembered. How people will remember you, how you lived your life. Now look at it again and see how you can achieve that.

"Just go." C'est la vie.

~~~

Hmmm. Yeah, I do need a new closet.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Got served at Deep Fried!

2010-05-23T09:47:00.001+08:00

Nothing like a night of dancing and booze with good friends. It may be one of the best and memorable weekend of my entire life! Kudos to Ge, Diego, Argem, July and Reg! You guys are the best.

It's best served Deep Fried.

Art: Argem Vinuya

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Walang kokontrah!

2010-05-17T12:57:00.000+08:00

Had dinner with Jeng last friday with two of her officemates and as usual chismis galore.
We started laughing and joking around with a couple of Margaritas and Mojitas on the table. Then she shared MY story with her officemates, on what happened when my parents and I drove up to Pangasinan and visited Our Lady of Manaoag Shrine. It was a funny story. So I told her i'd post it.

It was December. I wanted to go out of town and have some family therapy. So off we went to Pangasinan to visit grandaunts and uncles.
For church, mom decided that we should all go to Our Lady of Manaoag. Known to be one of those places where you can pray for something to come true, my mom started buying candles for our petitions.

Mom: (counting) one for your lola ninay... lola bibeng... your dad, kuya, ... ikaw? ilan sayo?
Shali: uhm... two please!
M: ok...
(she goes back to the line but then quickly turns around and looks at me)
M: para kanino ang isang candle???
S: huh? one for personal and one for work...
M: You're not praying to get back together right??!
S: huwaaat?! no...
M: Sha, sinasabi ko lang sayo... huwag mong kokontrahin ang mga dasal ko...

(shali faces cam...)
S: nye!

Sabagay. Masmalakas si mommy kay God.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Home

2010-05-12T01:05:00.002+08:00

home (hm)

1. A place where one lives; a residence.

2. The physical structure within which one lives, such as a house or apartment.

3. A dwelling place together with the family or social unit that occupies it; a household.

a. An environment offering security and happiness.

b. A valued place regarded as a refuge or place of origin.

5. The place, such as a country or town, where one was born or has lived for a long period.

6. The native habitat, as of a plant or animal.

7. The place where something is discovered, founded, developed, or promoted; a source.

________________________________________________

My brother's been living in Melbourne with his wife for... well enough for him to be resident already. And talks about moving there has become more frequent.

Kuya: Anu ba plano mo?

Sha: I have plans of my own...

K: Why not try it here?

S: and do what?

K: I dunno, i'm sure you can figure something out... you can be nanny...hehe

S: hmm tempting...

K: kaw, up to you if you're ready to leave everything behind.

"Leave everything behind." That's what struck me the most. I know too many friends who've migrated and wished they were back here. I guess however "sucky" the country may be, it's still home.

Migrating when you're young seems bearable. Emotions can still be considered petty. Before you know it, you're back in school socializing and making new friends. But as you get older, when you've established close and meaningful ties with people, accustomed yourself to the sights, the sounds and even the smell of a place (however foul), leaving feels like getting amputated. You are literally cutting yourself off from a world that you grew up with, learned and is continually learning from.

Leave everything behind. Is it really that hard? I've thought of leaving the country numerous times for work. Just work. And like my other colleagues in the industry, come back after saving up. 1 year? 2 years? Yet it's nothing compared to a lifetime commitment of calling another place home.

I've held it off ever since my brother left. The thought of leaving seemed pointless to me. Now that there's something brewing down under, my parents are all but excited to migrate and be with my brother and his family. That part is what's really making the decision harder for me. He IS my only brother. Unfortunately, despite the arguments and the name calling, I do miss the bastard. And he OBVIOUSLY misses me too... My brother and my parents know that pamangkins are my greatest weakness. Using the line "Come here na, we need help in painting the nursery." is really uncalled for.

They say at my age the world is my oyster. But is there really anywhere else better than home?

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Wednesday is bonding time with Mom.

2010-05-05T17:01:00.000+08:00

Wednesdays means my car is coding. It also means time with my Mom.

There are times when it would be all "what- are- you- doing- with- your- life" conversations, sometimes it would be about telling me about her dreams of undergoing smart lipo or a face lift or the latest beauty products, and then there are the family chismis. The recent one being great news.

But this morning, while I was driving (when she gets chatty kasi she gets distracted driving...) she told me her encounter in her gym's sauna. There was a nosy 27yo making chika with all the other moms in the sauna. The questions were "too personal" my mom said. I guess it backfired. That 27yo got ganged up by all of the moms in the sauna when she told them she "did it" with her boyfriend of 5 years.

"Pakasal na kayo tagal niyo na!"
"Tsk binigay mo na pala lahat."
"Habang bata ka pa sulitin mo na yang boyfriend mo. Pag mag-asawa na kayo bad breath ang kasama mo, may utot pa."

And then the funniest remark was made.

"O nga, 'uso' yang premarital sex ngayon."

Mom: Walang premarital sex nung panahon namin!
Shali: I'm sure meron na yun, matagal na yang term na yan eh.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Si Panget.

2010-05-05T00:10:00.001+08:00

My brother got married 3 years ago in Australia to his first and only girlfriend. My sister-in-law migrated to Melbourne in the middle of their boyfriend-girlfriend relationship... and yes, she's pinay. A couple of years after she left, they decided to get hitched. One of the few where a long distance relationship actually worked out.

Before my brother left, I had asked again and again if he really wanted to leave. Leave everything behind right? His family, his friends... and his fabulous sister, me. I also asked him if he was sure she was the one? He said 'yes'. It was a painful moment as we sat along Manila bay knowing I was losing my only brother to a country down under. But as we watched the sunset with a cigarette on hand, I was glad he made that choice.

It was a difficult stage in our family's life for one of it's few members to leave. We were only 4; my parents, my older brother and myself. The move was hard on my parents. You could really see it in their faces, especially my mom.

My brother and I are close-- He's an asshole and i'm a real bitch. It is an amiable, normal and healthy brother-sister relationship. I mean who can call you "panget" all the time and find it endearing right? There were instances when he'd be a real jerk. But turns out he just really didn't like my ex's and anything that had to do with them. But like everyone else in the family, he respected my choices by simply letting me do my own thing and leaving me alone... which entailed fighting my own battles.

There are lots of times i'd miss him. After he left, Sunday outings with the family seemed incomplete. I had no one to talk to in the car. I got scolded a lot cause my black sheep of a brother wasn't there to shadow my mistakes! I have no other siblings, and i really wish i did, so I really don't have much of a choice in choosing a favorite brother. (or another sibling for that matter) But everytime we'd talk on the phone or over chat, hearing him say "hoy panget! musta ka na?" brings back good memories, and assures me he's still my brother.

But things change. 3 years after getting married, my brother isn't just going to slip on the role of a son, a brother or a husband, he'll be slipping on probably the most important role of his life...

...becoming a daddy.

I got emotional chatting with him earlier. I was so excited and so happy for them that it felt strange not being able to hug them or touch my sister in law's belly to try and talk to the baby.

"Auntie's gonna spoil you sweetie...I can't wait to meet you...".

Hay. Kuya's going to be daddy panget na.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Iron Man 2

2010-05-03T21:29:00.003+08:00

NOTE: I'll be mentioning some stuff in the movie, so if you're a Sheldon-like geek and haven't seen the movie, please, for the love of God and everything good in this world, don't read this.

_______

No. This will not be your intensive review of the Iron Man 2 movie... Nor will it be a means to discuss anything that has to do with the comic book (or any comic book for that matter).

I'm a girl.

But I heard the most adorable thing earlier in the cinema, when I watched the movie for the 2nd time (Ehem. Yes, I watched it twice. Please get over it.) While watching the scene where War Machine and Iron Man were wreaking havoc in Tony's gorgeous house, a small boy in the cinema yelled with so much concern;

Mommy! Why are they fighting?!?

Aww. I wanted to yell back;

Because they can sweetie. Now shush!

~~~~~~

You gotta love the smell of geeks on a Monday. It's even better coupled with baffled non-geeks with their "what-the-fuck-did-just-happened" and their "oh,-so.-what's-up-with-the-hammer" looks on their faces.

I'd like to think i'm in between worlds. I know enough to enjoy a movie like that, but not enough to forever be banned by the Sex and the City groupies. (Movie 2 is coming soon by the way. Yay! Did you see Aidan in the trailer?!?!?! WTF right?!?!?!)

What made the after-movie-hang-out-thing funny was how I remembered an episode in The Big Bang Theory (Season 2), where Penny was trying to explain to their new hot chick neighbor how Leonard and the other guys don't have "their shields up, like in Star Trek." Wow. Can't imagine something like that coming out of me either. "Where did that come from?"

Marla: I don't get it, how come 'Whiplash' was never mentioned in the movie? Kala ko ba yun yung guy?

Shali: Because you're establishing pa lang that you have this guy Vanko who hates Tony's guts. But he is called Whiplash in the comics.

Someone reboot me please.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Girl's night out with Claire. Finally.

2010-04-30T17:56:00.000+08:00

I SMS'd Jinky yesterday about a friends gig in Saguijo. Unfortunately, people backed out last minute and we decided to just have dinner in Greenbelt instead.

When we got there, we thought of calling Claire in the hopes that she's in one of the 2 events in the area. True enough, she was at the "Bravo!" event with her boss. We ended up convincing Claire (sort of against her will) to hang out with us that night at Kitchen.

It was a way of catching up with each other. Three girls sharing a cozy table in greenbelt talking, making "ka-ka" over dinner. The always-going-home-early-Claire kept on rushing us to finish our dinner later so I could already take her home. But she also kept on talking.

Yup. The girl couldn't stop talking. This was the first time after a while that she just hung out with her girlfriends. No husband. No baby. She poured her stories of married life and... well, mostly about being married. And that no matter how clingy or how kid-like your husband can be, the best thing about it is having the baby; how Sophia's first word was actually "mamamamamamama" and how she'd always stop crying when she's placed right beside her mommy. Claire would tell us how Sophia likes to squeeze herself beside her in bed... like a dog. (Yeah, that's how you best describe it.) It was a sweet and inspiring story on motherhood... but somewhat a disheartening and uninspiring story of married life... (i'm not sharing that discussion here)

She repeated her advise to me though, this time with Jinky around. "Savor being single." she said. "Dont' rush." Being 26 and single doesn't mean anything. It just means your 26 and the world is your oyster.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

"O"-M-G!!!

2010-04-29T12:14:00.000+08:00

I leave end May for what may be the best vacation i'll have this year. Vegas- San Francisco- LA.

What makes it great is that i'll get to spend time with my parents (whole trip) and my bestie Joyce in both Vegas and SF!

What makes it even better are the places we've lined up for the trip, especially the Cirque de Soleil "O" in Vegas. My dad and I are both excited for that one. Really excited.

Can't freakin wait!!!

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

the break up story

2010-04-28T15:58:00.000+08:00

A new break up story in the office.

Girl was invited to go out of town by boyfriend. Girl didn't want but boyfriend insisted she did. Boyfriend got annoyed at the airport because the girlfriend wasn't feeling the trip. He said "Kung ayaw mo di huwag ka na sumama!". Seeing it as an opportunity to finally leave, girl says "ok". She takes her bags and slowly made her way out. Boyfriend couldn't take the girl's decision to leave, so he decides to throw his iced tea all over her.

Girl leaves boy at the airport. Forever.

Sheesh.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

2010-04-28T02:03:00.000+08:00

"I'm happy with the right choice, though the choice wasn't me."

How's that for a letter that was never sent? :)

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Team Shali

2010-04-26T19:36:00.000+08:00

Apparently there is one. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by now with people in the office and my friends consoling and rooting for me by saying they're "Team Shali". Who knew my relationship would have brought me to a "Brangelina" level. But then again, "Brangelina" has its counterpart "Brennifer". I wonder if the other girl has one as well. And if the number of people in my team is more than hers... hmmmm...

But Sid gave me the best compliment today. After talking about his gig in "Lakihan mo logo nights", he told me "Lugi ka dun, Sha." You're dabest Sidney!

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

That freakin iPhone.

2010-04-25T20:04:00.001+08:00

Found out that they're selling the unit separately in Apple stores. Difference is that though it's still under Globe, it's prepaid.

Aiming for the 32G. Currently there's no stock so I have time to save up for this. I really want this one. I'm really getting this one.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Carrying it out.

2010-04-25T10:42:00.001+08:00

Work sometimes can be the best distraction from your screwed up personal life. You're distracted and get paid at the same time! Good thing i'm in advertising too. So far so good.

Jinky told me before that I needed to try being alone. Claire supports it, telling me to savor being single, which meant having alone time with no one to worry about. Being married with a baby, she realizes how much she appreciates having her own space. Loving being single isn't really about the boys or random hook ups (although if it happens it happens...). They want me to know myself again and be comfortable with just being with myself. "There was always some boy" they said. And i'd always end up losing myself with them.

I guess they're right. There are things I really love doing but i'd always end up compromising to the point of neglecting them. I missed writing, sound tripping and dancing among other things. There's a lot of catching up to do with myself and there's no better way to start than now.

Yeah. Being single's not that bad. Steady lang.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Phases.

2010-04-21T00:53:00.002+08:00

Emotions. Always screws things up.

Having to admit to something is always the most difficult thing. I should know. I couldn't even muster up the courage to say it all.

Rina M. told me earlier how she talked to people at the office. About what happened to me and my ex, and how well i'm holding up despite... (I can't believe they talked about it that much behind my back though...) The conversation of course emanated from her own situation-- she recently broke it off with her boyfriend because 1.) She found out that her boyfriend was really worried she was gaining weight and 2.) She found out that her boyfriend was more interested (with the help of his friends) in another girl, who happens to be a triathlete. So i told her a thing or two that i learned and still learning from my experience.

1. Go through the phase. Go out, drink and be stupidly merry. Make out with a complete stranger and numb the pain. A friend once told me, "'do' lang ng 'do' until the pain goes away." lol. That was his philosophy on how to heal a broken heart. I guess it's true in some way. Distractions are always a faster way to get over something.

2. Have fun. I was with my ex right after college, and though it was a painful experience getting dumped for a younger version of myself, I realized that this is actually the first time I get to enjoy being single as a yuppie! Young enough to be stupid and old enough to be responsible and capable of paying for stupid things.

However, every action always results in a reaction. Cause and effect. There was only one thing I warned her about. Emotions.

___________

Phase.

noun. 1 a distinct period or stage in a process of change or forming part of something's development : the final phases of the war | [as adj. ] phase two of the development is in progress.

___________

One goes through a phase for a reason. There comes a turning point wherein in it shifts to another stage, progresses in another phase. In other words, it ends at some point. As to how it progresses depends on a lot of variables. The after-break-up phase happens. I told Rina M. not to fight it and just go with the flow. To enjoy every bit of it and have fun. The only disclaimer is, never get emotions involved. You'll lose. You always lose.

But then, as I told her, before you know it, your phase ends. Whether you like the outcome or not. You wake up one day and realize it's over. It can be the best dream you've ever had, or the worse nightmare.

I knew my phase was too good to be true. I woke up one day and realized that the best dream i've ever had was also the best lie I created for myself.

My phase is definitely done. Unfortunately, I got to the point when I became emotional. Cause and effect. I did it again. To myself.

What I purposely neglected to say tonight though was simple. "I just wished the choice was me."

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Wakeboarding Video

2010-04-19T13:10:00.001+08:00

Wakeboarding. Hurts so good.
Russ. Gem. Arj. Shali.
Lago de Oro, Batangas.
April 17, 2010.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Wakeboarding.

2010-04-18T19:16:00.000+08:00

I tried Wakeboarding yesterday with Russ (the one who planned the trip), Glee-fied Argem and birthday boy Arjun! At 5:30am, we were already ready for Russel to pick us up in makati. Unfortunately the 3 of us got home at around 2:30-3am in the morning since it was Merville night for Arjun's birthday...

And so the adventure begins with a very well rested Russ, picking up 3 very delinquent (with matching hangover) bagets in makati.

It was a fast drive to Lago, Batangas. Russel tried wakeboarding before this trip and decided to invite us for his next wakeboarding experience. His goal was simple, graduate from kneeboarding to wakeboarding.

It was the first time the 3 of us (me, Arj and Gem) to try out wakeboarding. Prior to the trip, we've been researching about it. Gem researched more than the rest. Armed with NO Xplode and bottles of Red Bull we tried our very first kneeboarding. Everyone was able to ride it almost immediately without much difficulty. Challenge was, how to stand up for the actual wakeboarding.

After a few attempts, Russ, Gem and Arj were able to get a hang of it. Russ was able to ride the board (finally), Gem has become addicted to it (lining up right after getting back up, again and again) and birthday boy Arj, we found out, is a natural! I, on the other hand, failed miserably. I was already tired after 2 rounds of kneeboarding that my arms gave out. I couldn't get up on the freakin wakeboard!!!I super missed surfing.

I learned though that the difference between wakeboarding and surfing are:
1. Though surfing requires keen sense of timing and balance, wakeboarding requires a lot of upper body strength (especially your dominant arm) and balance.
2. When surfing, your stance is based on your dominant foot which should be at the back whereas wakeboarding is based on your dominant arm. Your dominant foot follows the stance and should be in front.
3. You take your time with surfing, anticipating each wave. Wakeboarding is consistent since you just wait for the pull of the rope. You know you'll get to ride each time.
4. When you surf, you never know the intensity of the ride until you're riding it. With wakeboarding, you know when to anticipate the sudden pulls and you can manipulate which ramps to take.
5. With surfing, you need to to pray to the surfing gods for good waves. In wakeboarding, you talk to the manongs handling the machine.

These are just some of the differences i noticed. Wakeboarding is extremely fun but i did learn to appreciate surfing more. Wakeboarding is too intense for me. It's not as relaxing or as chillax as surfing. With surfing you learn to respect the ocean and her unpredictability. You cherish every wave and that long ride you managed to do on your own. One good ride is enough to make your day. You learn to be patient with surfing and you learn to let go as well.

But then again, maybe im just bitter cause i didn't get to ride the freakin board!!!
Well, there's always a next time. Right now though, it's hard to do anything. My whole body hurts. Ouchie.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Ageing.

2010-04-15T22:51:00.000+08:00

My mom introduced me to our new maid, Cherry pie. Yeah, its really Cherry pie. But more than the name, my mom reiterated that she's only 19. I remember the time when new maids would arrive at the house and they'd be older than me, if not the same age. Now, here's Cherry pie at the age of 19... 8 years younger than me.

I know being 26, turning 27 isn't really a bad deal. It's young enough to be stupid, but old enough to pay for stupid things on your own without being scolded. But i guess it's the idea of getting older. That there are about 26 generation of kids that can be considered younger than me now.

Maybe it was because of the conversation i had earlier about my "freckles" and how what i used to call "sun spots" have evolved into "age spots". Maybe it's the use of eye cream now and talking about which brand is more effective. Maybe my panic is being caused by my sudden need to apply sunblock every morning and moisturizing lotion for fear of my skin looking like a bark of a tree when i get really old. And maybe its also due to the fact that my ex left me for a younger girl. (considering he was already 8 years older than me!)

The thought of ageing can really put a damper on your day. But then what can you do, right? Change IS inevitable. It always boils down to the question, so what the f@k are you gonna do about it? Frankly i'd rather be one of those women who age gracefully.

Ah, f@k it. Live the rock 'n roll lifestyle 'til your 6 feet under.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

What happens in Vegas or The Hangover?

2010-04-13T16:26:00.000+08:00

Yes, yes... I'm excited about the Vegas trip. But who wouldn't? How often do you do planning to go to Vegas with your friends? I mean sure, there's Bora and The Fort but Vegas is like the mecca of all gimmiks.
So imagine me getting an email from my good friend Joyce about her itinerary.

I wonder though if my trip will be anything like those movies.

And so my adventure begins...

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Quicksand

2010-04-12T23:19:00.001+08:00

The harder you try, the more you drown in it.

There were instances when you think you have it all figured out. You've assessed everything purely rationally and you say to yourself "good job!". And then IT creeps up to you. Before you know it, the shit's up to your nose already and you can't get out. You want to. You try your hardest. But fail miserably each time.

Then you keep still. You let it engulf you. Slowly drowning your entirety. You tell yourself, "yeah, i deserve it." But then, in one swift motion, someone... unknowingly... pulls you out.

And you're swept off your feet once again.

... into another quicksand.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

The good shake down.

2010-04-05T18:38:00.001+08:00

"If you have a problem, say something... don't keep it to yourself."

Twice i've been told. Separated by just a couple of days by people I've always held with high regard. It felt like a slap in the face, a good shake down that made me realize how I've always been, how I've always reacted to things or situations.

"You can't do it alone. That's why we're here."

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Stupid is as stupid does.

2010-03-30T12:12:00.000+08:00

You know how it is, when you do something stupid, and you know it's really stupid, but you do it anyway?
And how after doing that stupidest thing, you tell yourself, "well, that was stupid!" but then you end up still doing it again.

...and again.

...and again.

But then, after awhile of being stupid, you suddenly realize that it's no longer "Shit, this is fuckin' stupid..." but that it has evolved into "Shit, this is fuckin' wrong...". And you don't want to be wrong. At least not anymore...

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

The day daddy got bullied by a 5 year old

2010-03-29T15:18:00.001+08:00

Sunday is usually the day my dad relaxes and watches TV in the living room while he sits on his favorite chair. It's the day he controls the remote. Unfortunately, we have a 5 year old guest in the house...Nicole.

As he tries to switch channels, Nicole sees all the cartoons showing and yells at my dad to switch the channel back. My dad obeys and switches back to the cartoon thinking the kid would probably ADD and go away soon enough. After a couple of minutes the kid zones out and decides to go to the kitchen to where we were. My dad then switches to HBO for the Three Amigos. Nicole sees this debauchery and runs back to my dad shrieking to bring back her cartoons...

He changes the channel almost immediately. My dad looks at me from the living room with sadness in his eyes. I told him "Tsk tsk. Overpowered by a 5 year old. Tsk." He ended up watching cartoons the whole morning with Nicole.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

It's a Jungle out there...

2010-03-29T13:31:00.000+08:00

...and my mom can survive it gracefully.

It was almost 8pm in South Supermarket when we saw people lining up in French Baker. Out of curiosity my mom and I asked one of the ladies in line. Turns out, it was the 8pm sale where they have everything half off. Mom tells me to line up and get her all the cinnamon rolls they have.

But they have a process already. Get a number and wait in line. I was # 13. Everything was ok until it was #12's turn. Just like a relay race, she ran towards the counter when the French Baker guy gave her the tray and said "go!". And just like that, she got almost everything... including 3 out of 4 cinnamon rolls that my mom wanted...Nagtira pa.

When it was finally my turn, I went to the counter immediately and told the guy i'd get the last roll, and a coffee bun. I looked at #12 with a "ikaw kasi eh..." look of disappointment.

As I lined up at the cashier, my mom went to me asking about her rolls. Sadly i told her i was only able to get just one, and pointed at #12, blaming her. While waiting in line, i saw my mom all of a sudden in a conversation with #12. They were laughing and then... I saw #12 give her one of her cinnamon rolls! Mom even tried declining but #12 was insistent she gets that roll. I asked mom if she knew her... she said "No. She told me to line up already to get the discounted bread but i told her 'pinakyaw mo na favorite ko eh...' jokingly.... and then she offered me the cinnamon roll... hehehe"

Wow. Mom can get what she wants effortlessly ...Galing.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Just like my grandmother

2010-03-25T23:58:00.000+08:00

We got home today from DFA and SSS only to find my grandmother weak and slurring. She was complaining about not feeling well. But before she even said anything, my parents saw that there was already something wrong. Apart from her slurred speech, half of her face was drooping.

The doctor confirmed it. She had a stroke.

They couldn't point out when she got it. She was already in the aftermath of the whole thing! When they checked her BP, she was normal. She wasn't even sure when or how it happened. When interviewed, my lola just told the doctor and my parents that she fell over the weekend and didn't even bother to tell us. She didn't think it was anything. She slipped raw.

Crazy old lady.

Her concern? "Doc, i love coke." (seriously, she said that and i'm not talking about Coke Zero or Light, she loooooves Red.) Doctor was getting frustrated with my grandmother, saying that (1) she should have said something when she felt something different, (2) she should listen to the doctor-- a strict diet must be implemented along with her medicine.

Crazy stubborn old lady.

After the doctors, she tried to get some rest. (i.e. we told her to get some rest and stop fussing around the house. So after a very eventful day, I tried to relax and spent some time with the puppies. Lola, bored to death went to the backyard where we were and patted the dogs. "I love these dogs..." and she left. (yep, she's out and about like nothing important happened.)

Crazy, stubborn and sweet old lady.

...And i thought I just got that from my mom.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

SLEX= FAIL

2010-03-24T21:35:00.000+08:00

SLEX stands for South Luzon Expressway. Key word EXPRESS right? That's why you're willing to pay a certain amount... to use the EXPRESSway to get to wherever fast...

... and not almost die cause you need to pee so bad but you're still stuck in traffic.

SLEX = FAIL

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.