Im sitting on a pile of clothes I weeded out from my closet. Breaktime muna. I started around 9pm trying to pack some of my clothes for the trip and thought i'd clean out my closet once again. It's almost 12 midnight and I haven't even placed one single clothing in my bag. One thing I realized though... I really need a new closet.

~~~

Had a beer with Aya earlier. We talked about how nice the ice-cold beer was, how we can pair up Japs and Denise (the new design girl) and how I should make my decision about Australia.

The pressure is still there. Mom just told me yesterday, nonchalantly, that my brother was "processing IT" already. Didn't really bother to clarify if "IT" included me or just them. Maybe I just really didn't want to hear about the process. I told Aya the scenarios playing in my head-- "he's my only brother, and his baby will be my first ever pamangkin; "my family will be there". And then she said it;

Stop making decisions because of other people. This is a decision YOU want. Don't think about how your brother will feel, not even your mom. Do what will make YOU happy and no one else. You are in the best position to make these kinds of decisions. 

So if I ask you right away where you want to go where would it be?

Her words were crates of truth I needed to hear. The most interesting was this,

I'll tell you what I told the others, 'write your obituary'. Write how you would want to be remembered. How people will remember you, how you lived your life. Now look at it again and see how you can achieve that.

"Just go." C'est la vie.

~~~

Hmmm. Yeah, I do need a new closet.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.