You wait for so long, endured so many, only to find out that you were the one screwing it up all along.

Perfect. I need to be particularly perfect.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

"All it is is that I love you and I want to spend every waking and non-waking moment with you."

He said it scared him. Realizing that every time I fall asleep I'm somewhere else. No longer "here". no longer with him.

"She's off somewhere else. When's she gonna be back? Who knows. I just want her here with me right now.
Reach into the portal and clasp your wrist. If I pull you back then 'yay!' If you slip and are sucked into another dimension, oh well, at least I knew she reached out for me as much as I did for her."
~~
There's this little thing I do, when we're talking to people. So as not to be rude, I focus my attention to the person I'm talking to but I hold his hand. And as much as possible I don't let go of his hand.  Despite engaging in the conversation with that other person, I squeeze his hand gently. Assuring him that while I may be talking to someone else, i'm still thinking of him.
~~
I tried comforting him that night. I told him there's really nothing to be scared of.

"I am yours as much as I consider you mine".

That drifting to sleep is just like those times when I talk to other people while I hold his hand. I'm never really gone. I'll always be there holding his hand, squeezing it to remind him that I am still his. And will always be.

As it always have been.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

We are not irritatingly cheezy. We are disgustingly cheezy. And we love it.

It's fresh, admittedly. But I catch myself staring at him at times.

There's still a certain level of disbelief seeing him with me, so close. Knowing that we're together. And the fact that the guy I'm looking at tells me he loves me, and I believe it too.

There's just so much history that makes for such a great love story. If some other person told it, it would probably go something like 'Yeah, them kids go waaay back. Classmates since 2nd grade, hungout in College and been friends since then.'

We both get a kick out of people's reaction when they find out we're together. At least those that have known us for a long time.
"Finally."
"I kinda saw it coming."

This just feels right. When you've felt so many wrongs in your life, you know when it's right.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

In 7th grade, I got a letter from a boy in class, who wrote "I love you, woman... I'll never let you go! Forever and ever and ever and ever..." 3 pages long as a prank. I wrote him back with a letter that was completely stapled as payback. In it were just the words "I love you too."

Years later that boy, now a man, finally decided to come home. He tells me, "I love you, Shali." This time, he means it. And I replied, "I love you too, Richard."

This time, I mean it too.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

"You are my woman."

"I am your woman. I love being your woman."

"I love being your man."

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

From my tumblr account. Posted way back, when I was dreaming about a moment like this.

"IT’S THAT HEIGHTENED SENSE OF AWARENESS… 
AND YOU FEEL YOUR GUT LITERALLY LIFT UP INSIDE OF YOU AS YOU BREATHE IN DEEP AND POP UP OFF YOUR BOARD. 
AT THAT MOMENT, NOTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD MATTERS BUT YOU, YOUR BOARD AND THE WATER BELOW YOU. 
LIFE, AS YOU KNOW IT, IS PERFECT. 
EVERY SECOND IS PERFECT.

JUST LIKE YOUR FIRST KISS… 

AGAIN AND AGAIN. 

I THINK THAT’S WHAT GETTING STOKED IS ALL ABOUT. 

IT’S LIKE FALLING IN LOVE."

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

It feels like I'm jumping off a cliff. Gut clenching kind of moment when you say to yourself "this is fucking crazy and stupid" with a big ass smile on your face.

The big wave is coming. I'm on my board scared shitless... and I can't wait to pop up.
Please let this be the ride i've been waiting for.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

"I'm sprung."

Not something I was expecting on a friday night but it was definitely a pleasant surprise. It was one Jack- Coke after another and we found ourselves laughing about everything that was happening even while it was happening. (with a hint of insecurities and a dash of issues here and there)

It was nice to see him smile more, even better hearing him laugh and crack up jokes. I pleaded, "I'm too tired. Stop making me laugh!". He laughed some more and said "You like it when I make you laugh." That bastard. Loathing him cause it's true.

Yeah. I'm sprung too. Dammit.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

"
We sat there together, like old times. But the air was filled with our pasts, too different from each other. 


'I wish I had you then...' he muttered, '...then I wouldn't feel like this about those other guys.'

'It's your fault too...' I said, 'You left me.'"

And a new story unfolds.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.