stranger in the mirror

I stared at this girl in the mirror. She looked older now, though not any taller. She seems weary and tired, no longer the cheerful girl people once knew. I didn't even recognize her. Maybe it was because of the cruelty of time, or maybe just innocence faded away.
I remember being a kid and impatiently waiting for school to end so i could spend more time with my friends without worrying about tomorrow. It was all fun and games. Life was definitely simpler before. What i couldn't get i'd cry for, building up tantrums like your usual spoiled brat. I'm the youngest and the only girl in the family so life was relatively easier but definitely not better. I remember my nana would wake me up for school using tissue paper. She'd roll it up and start tickling my nose with it to wake me. And to think my classes started in the afternoon. Just goes to show i wasn't made for the early morning.
When i was younger I wasn't allowed to go out and play in the park, not even outside my house. My mom feared the sun. She didn't want her unica hija getting exposed to the blaring sun. She still gets frantic now everytime i go to the beach. I got teased a lot when i was finally allowed to play with my brother and the other kids in our block. But even this was constrained to hanging out at night. I was called a white lady, a ghost in their midst. They weren't used to me being outside. I also remember going home one day from my cousin's house who was then our neighbor. It was a hot afternoon, and we were playing with water balloons and my brother and i ended up drenched. I remember once playing hide and seek with the kids in our entire block when there was a blackout. There was even a time when i was running around with just my underwear (i was a kid k? not at this age). There's even a photo of me running around in our garden. My uncle once took a picture of me eating a watermelon. I had short hair with bangs and i was literally eating it with my hands. I was a very messy girl.
A lot has changed. Friends, personal views, knowledge, preference... priorities. What once was a girl who just waited for summer is now thinking about where to work for after college. Which company can offer me growth intellectually and financially? I'm making decisions now for my future, and the one that i'd have to share with. Life was simpler then.

It's difficult it seems for a transition. I was with someone when i went into college and i think it helped knowing that there was someone who would relate for me, with me with the new change. Now, it seems harder, more frightening than ever to get out of the confines of an institution i've grown fond of.
My friends in school are starting to talk about it and i can't help but realize the big impact we had with each other even though we've only spent 4 years together. We're sad because we know the truth, the reality after graduation. Some will be working immediately while most will probably take a much needed break. We will be seeing less of each other, maybe not at all. I know some will be leaving the country as some of my friends have done after graduation for hopes of getting a better life outside the country. Though i enjoy living life as optimistic as i want, the truth is i'm scared as hell. Uncertainty it seems is an enemy of mine. So with this entry i'm not going to tell you that everything will turn out well, cause i'm not sure either. Who knows what that girl i saw in the mirror will look like after college, or maybe after 5 years... or 10 years from now. No one will know. I won't probably recognize her still.