My happy drug no more

I passed by his house today... For some reason i had to. Things aren't thesame anymore. I've been stressed both from the org and school. Wait, does that constitute as one thing? So anyway, I just passed by a friends house. She was packing her stuff and giving me some of her books. It reminded me of when he was about to leave too. The big balikbayan box we bought in national bookstore was in the middle of his room... opened, ready to take everything away--including him. I wanted to runaway again. So i took my car and drove off. Didn't go so far,just around the village. I passed by my old school. Memories. Such sweet memories. I drove on, going further at the end of the village. then a familiar street. I had to take a turn. My foot suddenly became heavy and i sped faster like someone in a hurry to go somewhere important. His street came up and i took another turn, towards his house.

I didnt know what to feel. Pathetic was one thing,but longing and familiarity had a strong drive in me. (pun intended) I then slowed down. It was his house. Dark, and alone. I sympathized with it because like an empty house without it's residents, he was not with me. I stared at the house,and his car parked outside while i drove slowly, trying to take in as much as i can. I'm not sure but i think i actually looked at the house to get a glimpse of him. It's silly. He's not there. But i wanted him to be there. To go outside and meet me. To invite me into his house again. To hold me and make me laugh. And make sure that everything will be fine. He was my good distraction. For those times that i was stressed or tired. Going out on a school night didnt matter because he was my pill, my happy drug that kept me sane and going to finish my work. And now he's not here. I'm left with all my harsh realities with nothing to compensate for it. The world was bright when he was here. Now, not even a flicker can be seen.

I passed by his house.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.