machismo

Machismo. It's a constant battle between males. No two dicks are quite thesame but they are in a mission to prove to others that theirs are the biggest. (regardless of actual size).

At first it's cute. They say that they want to show you how good they are in defending you in case of trouble. but when it becomes sheer vanity and pride... it gets to be a bore.

No longer are you the sole reason for their strength. You're reduced to a spectator, along with the other passers-by, not the damsel in distress. (though i don't ever want to be regarded as one it still feels damn special)

And then they get mad when you try to stop them and assumes that you're scared they'll lose. WTF??? Hardly, i just find it a waste of time.

"Pare-pareho lang kayong mga babae..."

Tangina yan!

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

sweat mustache

Ian once told me that one of the things that can tell if you're the jealous type is if (when it's hot)you get a sweat mustache... unfortunately it's also the first thing that he noticed when we were dating...I can't say it's not true either...

What i don't understand is if jealousy is a problem brought by distrust or a simple misunderstanding of the situation? I trust him. He told me his story...all of it--- good, bad and the worse. I didn't mind... but why do i still feel an urge to pick a fight with all his exes?(which i think would take me years to find all of them...) Is it innate in everyone to hate exes? Is it inevitable? or am i just insanly jealous?

When you think about it, it's not really anyone's fault being an ex. I don't think anyone really wished they were someone's ex. It's quite frustrating actually. I don't hate his exes but i don't like the fact that they still exist.

Then is it a matter of misunderstanding then? You can't help it if there are just some things that would remind you of THEIR ex. Old gifts, places they went out to and even activities that they did. It feels awkward...

AWKWARD! that's it! Maybe it's neither... maybe it's the feeling of being awkward about his old memories with other women. It can get stifling knowing that you wouldn't want to mimic anything that they've done or have gone to. Afraid that by doing similar things that he did with his ex, or being in a memorable place from his past would make him remember his ex... Trust. Shit! We go back to trust!

I hate rationalizing things.

So maybe im still not sure what jealousy is really all about. Maybe it's just simply having a sweat mustache that can distinctly tell you you're the jealous type.

*Sigh* Got to remind myself it's a small world.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.