The Big "V"

It's the final night before the trip. The feeling is a mixture of excitement and fear. The discovery of a new place, new culture, and new ways to party. I. CAN'T. WAIT.

I wish the situation was different. That I'd have more friends to go with me. Don't get me wrong. Joyce is enough already considering we haven't really hung out together like we used to... and now Vegas becomes our tambayan. But it's the feeling of wanting all your friends to experience the same things, same adventure that you're taking.

I guess there are just some adventures you need to take alone.

~~~

Wish me luck. I'll try to document all of the adventures and misadventures i'll be having in the next 3 weeks.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Im sitting on a pile of clothes I weeded out from my closet. Breaktime muna. I started around 9pm trying to pack some of my clothes for the trip and thought i'd clean out my closet once again. It's almost 12 midnight and I haven't even placed one single clothing in my bag. One thing I realized though... I really need a new closet.

~~~

Had a beer with Aya earlier. We talked about how nice the ice-cold beer was, how we can pair up Japs and Denise (the new design girl) and how I should make my decision about Australia.

The pressure is still there. Mom just told me yesterday, nonchalantly, that my brother was "processing IT" already. Didn't really bother to clarify if "IT" included me or just them. Maybe I just really didn't want to hear about the process. I told Aya the scenarios playing in my head-- "he's my only brother, and his baby will be my first ever pamangkin; "my family will be there". And then she said it;

Stop making decisions because of other people. This is a decision YOU want. Don't think about how your brother will feel, not even your mom. Do what will make YOU happy and no one else. You are in the best position to make these kinds of decisions. 

So if I ask you right away where you want to go where would it be?

Her words were crates of truth I needed to hear. The most interesting was this,

I'll tell you what I told the others, 'write your obituary'. Write how you would want to be remembered. How people will remember you, how you lived your life. Now look at it again and see how you can achieve that.

"Just go." C'est la vie.

~~~

Hmmm. Yeah, I do need a new closet.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Got served at Deep Fried!

Nothing like a night of dancing and booze with good friends. It may be one of the best and memorable weekend of my entire life! Kudos to Ge, Diego, Argem, July and Reg! You guys are the best.

It's best served Deep Fried.

Art: Argem Vinuya

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Walang kokontrah!

Had dinner with Jeng last friday with two of her officemates and as usual chismis galore.
We started laughing and joking around with a couple of Margaritas and Mojitas on the table. Then she shared MY story with her officemates, on what happened when my parents and I drove up to Pangasinan and visited Our Lady of Manaoag Shrine. It was a funny story. So I told her i'd post it.

It was December. I wanted to go out of town and have some family therapy. So off we went to Pangasinan to visit grandaunts and uncles.
For church, mom decided that we should all go to Our Lady of Manaoag. Known to be one of those places where you can pray for something to come true, my mom started buying candles for our petitions.

Mom:  (counting) one for your lola ninay... lola bibeng... your dad, kuya, ... ikaw? ilan sayo?
Shali: uhm... two please!
M: ok...
(she goes back to the line but then quickly turns around and looks at me)
M: para kanino ang isang candle???
S: huh? one for personal and one for work...
M: You're not praying to get back together right??!
S: huwaaat?! no...
M: Sha, sinasabi ko lang sayo... huwag mong kokontrahin ang mga dasal ko...

(shali faces cam...)
S: nye!

Sabagay. Masmalakas si mommy kay God.


- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Home

home  (hm)

n.

1. A place where one lives; a residence.

2. The physical structure within which one lives, such as a house or apartment.

3. A dwelling place together with the family or social unit that occupies it; a household.

4.

a. An environment offering security and happiness.

b. A valued place regarded as a refuge or place of origin.

5. The place, such as a country or town, where one was born or has lived for a long period.

6. The native habitat, as of a plant or animal.

7. The place where something is discovered, founded, developed, or promoted; a source.

________________________________________________

My brother's been living in Melbourne with his wife for... well enough for him to be resident already. And talks about moving there has become more frequent.

Kuya: Anu ba plano mo?

Sha: I have plans of my own...

K: Why not try it here?

S: and do what?

K: I dunno, i'm sure you can figure something out... you can be nanny...hehe

S: hmm tempting...

K: kaw, up to you if you're ready to leave everything behind.

"Leave everything behind." That's what struck me the most. I know too many friends who've migrated and wished they were back here. I guess however "sucky" the country may be, it's still home.

Migrating when you're young seems bearable. Emotions can still be considered petty. Before you know it, you're back in school socializing and making new friends. But as you get older, when you've established close and meaningful ties with people, accustomed yourself to the sights, the sounds and even the smell of a place (however foul), leaving feels like getting amputated. You are literally cutting yourself off from a world that you grew up with, learned and is continually learning from.

Leave everything behind. Is it really that hard? I've thought of leaving the country numerous times for work. Just work. And like my other colleagues in the industry, come back after saving up. 1 year? 2 years? Yet it's nothing compared to a lifetime commitment of calling another place home.

I've held it off ever since my brother left. The thought of leaving seemed pointless to me. Now that there's something brewing down under, my parents are all but excited to migrate and be with my brother and his family. That part is what's really making the decision harder for me. He IS my only brother. Unfortunately, despite the arguments and the name calling, I do miss the bastard. And he OBVIOUSLY misses me too... My brother and my parents know that pamangkins are my greatest weakness. Using the line "Come here na, we need help in painting the nursery." is really uncalled for.

They say at my age the world is my oyster. But is there really anywhere else better than home?


- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Wednesday is bonding time with Mom.

Wednesdays means my car is coding. It also means time with my Mom.

There are times when it would be all "what- are- you- doing- with- your- life" conversations, sometimes it would be about telling me about her dreams of undergoing smart lipo or a face lift or the latest beauty products, and then there are the family chismis. The recent one being great news.

But this morning, while I was driving (when she gets chatty kasi she gets distracted driving...) she told me her encounter in her gym's sauna. There was a nosy 27yo making chika with all the other moms in the sauna. The questions were "too personal" my mom said. I guess it backfired. That 27yo got ganged up by all of the moms in the sauna when she told them she "did it" with her boyfriend of 5 years.

"Pakasal na kayo tagal niyo na!" 
"Tsk binigay mo na pala lahat." 
"Habang bata ka pa sulitin mo na yang boyfriend mo. Pag mag-asawa na kayo bad breath ang kasama mo, may utot pa." 

And then the funniest remark was made.

 "O nga, 'uso' yang premarital sex ngayon."

Mom: Walang premarital sex nung panahon namin!
Shali: I'm sure meron na yun, matagal na yang term na yan eh.


- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Si Panget.

My brother got married 3 years ago in Australia to his first and only girlfriend. My sister-in-law migrated to Melbourne in the middle of their boyfriend-girlfriend relationship... and yes, she's pinay. A couple of years after she left, they decided to get hitched. One of the few where a long distance relationship actually worked out.

Before my brother left, I had asked again and again if he really wanted to leave. Leave everything behind right? His family, his friends... and his fabulous sister, me. I also asked him if he was sure she was the one? He said 'yes'. It was a painful moment as we sat along Manila bay knowing I was losing my only brother to a country down under. But as we watched the sunset with a cigarette on hand, I was glad he made that choice.

It was a difficult stage in our family's life for one of it's few members to leave. We were only 4; my parents, my older brother and myself. The move was hard on my parents. You could really see it in their faces, especially my mom.

My brother and I are close-- He's an asshole and i'm a real bitch. It is an amiable, normal and healthy brother-sister relationship. I mean who can call you "panget" all the time and find it endearing right? There were instances when he'd be a real jerk. But turns out he just really didn't like my ex's and anything that had to do with them. But like everyone else in the family, he respected my choices by simply letting me do my own thing and leaving me alone... which entailed fighting my own battles.

There are lots of times i'd miss him. After he left, Sunday outings with the family seemed incomplete. I had no one to talk to in the car. I got scolded a lot cause my black sheep of a brother wasn't there to shadow my mistakes! I have no other siblings, and i really wish i did, so I really don't have much of a choice in choosing a favorite brother. (or another sibling for that matter) But everytime we'd talk on the phone or over chat, hearing him say "hoy panget! musta ka na?" brings back good memories, and assures me he's still my brother.

But things change. 3 years after getting married, my brother isn't just going to slip on the role of a son, a brother or a husband, he'll be slipping on probably the most important role of his life...

...becoming a daddy.

I got emotional chatting with him earlier. I was so excited and so happy for them that it felt strange not being able to hug them or touch my sister in law's belly to try and talk to the baby.

"Auntie's gonna spoil you sweetie...I can't wait to meet you...".

Hay. Kuya's going to be daddy panget na.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Iron Man 2

NOTE: I'll be mentioning some stuff in the movie, so if you're a Sheldon-like geek and haven't seen the movie, please, for the love of God and everything good in this world, don't read this.

_______


No. This will not be your intensive review of the Iron Man 2 movie...  Nor will it be a means to discuss anything that has to do with the comic book (or any comic book for that matter).

I'm a girl.

But I heard the most adorable thing earlier in the cinema, when I watched the movie for the 2nd time (Ehem. Yes, I watched it twice. Please get over it.) While watching the scene where War Machine and Iron Man were wreaking havoc in Tony's gorgeous house, a small boy in the cinema yelled with so much concern;

Mommy! Why are they fighting?!?

Aww. I wanted to yell back;

Because they can sweetie. Now shush!

~~~~~~

You gotta love the smell of geeks on a Monday. It's even better coupled with baffled non-geeks with their "what-the-fuck-did-just-happened" and their "oh,-so.-what's-up-with-the-hammer" looks on their faces.

I'd like to think i'm in between worlds. I know enough to enjoy a movie like that, but not enough to forever be banned by the Sex and the City groupies. (Movie 2 is coming soon by the way. Yay! Did you see Aidan in the trailer?!?!?! WTF right?!?!?!)

What made the after-movie-hang-out-thing funny was how I remembered an episode in The Big Bang Theory (Season 2), where Penny was trying to explain to their new hot chick neighbor how Leonard and the other guys don't have "their shields up, like in Star Trek." Wow. Can't imagine something like that coming out of me either. "Where did that come from?"

Marla: I don't get it, how come 'Whiplash' was never mentioned in the movie? Kala ko ba yun yung guy?

Shali: Because you're establishing pa lang that you have this guy Vanko who hates Tony's guts. But he is called Whiplash in the comics.  

Someone reboot me please.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.