- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

In trying to help yourself, you end up helping everyone else.

We talked about moving on. The 'how's' and the 'why's'. Cliches said again and again.
Then I remembered what helped me before all of this chaotic mess started. Surfing.

More than a sport, it helps you realize certain facts about life. You see, when one surfs, they don't surf through technique, they surf with the heart and more importantly, faith.

You watch the water. See where the swells at. Then you start paddling out to the line up. It doesn't really matter how big the waves are. You're excited for that feeling again. But being stoked doesn't happen so easily. You're faced with several factors beyond your control... the current, the wind, the waves. You wait patiently. Some swells die down before it gets to you and you paddle back out again. You wait some more. It gets difficult with the current. You feel tired, anxious. But you see a good one coming up. You take your place. Others follow. You feel the back of your board lifting as you paddle your hardest. Then you pop up. Balance and try to make it the longest ride you could have for that day.

Then you realize that while everything else is out of your hands, there is one thing you can control-- yourself. Whatever the sea gives you, you take in and you pray for the best. That when it happens, you're balanced, ready to take that ride. A well-deserved stoke.

It makes a lot of sense, Les said.
It does.

I'm still waiting at the line up. Along with others too. And while i'm tired, disheartened and alone on my board. That perfect ride will get here soon. I just need to make sure that when it happens i'm perfectly balanced.

"Be that sunset ride for me. The last one I take. The longest ride I make. And my ultimate stoke."

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

You end up with your best friend... or at least that was the story in my head.

Reality then bites you in the ass and makes you realize that it doesn't always pan out the way you want it to. No one wants to hurt anyone, or be the one left hurting. All you can do is take in all the emotions and pray to God that it'll all go away soon... Like, this instant.

You only hurt as much as you love.

The feeling is overwhelming. Someone told me that my situation is highly complicated, "friends can be lovers, but lovers can never be friends." You lose every time.

"You know I love you too no matter what."

And so it ends.

Next chapter please.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

I don't think i'm happy... just yet.

People often time will say "you don't need to fit in...", "be the change, the breathe of fresh air". Bull crap.
I'm faced with the question "why did you I go back again?". I'm dumb. Chasing after something that doesn't seem to like me back. There you go, story of my life. A one liner.

The idea is sound but the execution still needs a lot of work.
While the idea of advertising has always been the creme de la creme of my aspirations in life-- having to affect people in 30 seconds or less... I just can't seem to crack it. When I thought I had figured it all out, I go and move to another agency, surrounded by new people handling a whole shit load of new accounts I need to master immediately... like yesterday. And yet I fumble here and there. It's not that apparent but I see certain hint of disappointment from my boss. I'm sorry. I'm trying, i really am.

Maybe i'm just really dumb.
Maybe i'm just really tired.
Maybe i just miss my crazy ass team from my previous agency.

Why am I in advertising again?

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.