Living with no regrets

Aya has been constantly reminding me about taking chances... to always go for what makes me happy, to go for things that I want to do and to have. She always asks me "if you were gonna die tomorrow, what will you be doing now?"

It's funny, the idea of living happily, without any kind of apprehension. Easier said than done I guess. I've gone through many disappointments in my life to know that however passionate you are about something, however in love you are with an idea or someone, that you don't always get what you want. Though it may seem that fate is pointing you to that direction, more than hesitating, you know in your heart that it shouldn't be or rather, IT can't be.

So you learn. Adapt. You let go. Before you know it, the world has turned around again and your faced with a new set of choices to make. Never ending.

They say if your heart wants it so much, the universe will conspire to help you get it. Well if you're listening Mr. Universe, please don't mind my screaming heart. It's currently under renovation.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

I was at the office by 8:30am and tried waking myself up through coffee to compile materials for my 10am meeting with client. Then I had to rush to another meeting at 11am. Client was kind enough to serve us some sodas. Unfortunately, my 11am meeting took more than an hour so I was late for my 12noon meeting. Was on standby with the rest of the team 'til around 1pm where we met and presented items until around past 2pm. Had late lunch, which I didn't enjoy as much.  I was palpitating like crazy cause of all the caffeine. When I got back in the office, I had to rush some JOs and JREV forms, checked FAs, briefed creatives, briefed another set of creatives and aligned with the bosses.

I felt like vomiting but had too much work to squeeze it in my to-do list.
You gotta love the rush.

Maybe Meng's right. I am retarded.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Daydreaming

Everyone dreams, but not all will remember. 

I'm definitely one of those. But I do have my share of daydreaming. I daydream a lot about living by the beach. Not a fancy- shmancy beach house but a real home. 

On good days, I just float on the water... while on harsher days, I surf the waves. 

I wake up to the sound of crashing waters which, coincidentally, also serenades me to sleep.

On some sunsets, I just leave my board on the porch while I take a walk along the shore... (maybe with a retriever even...)

There are times when I just wait patiently on the beach for another luminous sunrise.

There are nights when the sky is so clear, you'd think there were more stars than space.

During isolated days, when no one bothers to be at the beach, I swim naked with nothing but the sun on my back.

I cook for myself, my family and friends who bother to pass by. I serve them the bounties of the ocean and fresh ingredients from my humble garden.

I don't bother with the rudeness and the chaos of urban life anymore. 

I am happy. 

I am content.

A girl can dream right?
- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

I'm starting to hate these past couple of days... Not because of work though (although it does merit some due acknowledgment) But it's the fact that I haven't really had a decent meal since I got back. Decent, meaning a meal that was prepared properly and presented in a manner that even the great artists of the past would commend. A meal that was passionately cooked to perfection that it not only satisfied every corner of your stomach but enlivens all of your senses down to your very soul. A meal that was savored and indulged, never devoured.

I am not a barbarian! I refuse to be one.

I don't like eating fast. Never did. It's like eating alone, or maybe even worse. Everything smells and tastes like crap. I try to eat for the sake of eating but nothing appeals to me the way it used to. My tongue feels like it's suddenly comatose (cause i'm sure it's not dead yet). I can't... taste. It's like it doesn't care if it's too sweet, too sour or too much of anything. I can't tell anymore.
I want it back...please, lord, give it back...

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Control Sha. Konting control.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.