141

Moving to my second job, i had already prepared questions in my head for my Group Account Director. Having a semblance of knowledge from my previous agency, i inquired about processes, benefits, even about admin support. More importantly, i asked about the culture. Having to leave and agency like Harrison was hard especially if you hang out with the creatives more than your department.
He answered each questions like a true accounts person. In the middle of his explanations, i couldn't help but laugh at how i could see through his bullshit comments. "Accounts ka nga..."
With a decision in mind, i moved out of the world of Mccann to Bates. Surprisingly, i still asked more questions during my first weeks.
My new GAD worked in Singapore before going back here and worked for 141. With most of the people i know going if not planning to work in places like that (including Vietnam) i raised a question "Why'd you move back?".
He thought about it. A lot since i asked it that while we were walking to our meeting he stared straight at the road and said "Shet. You got me thinking about it." So sad. So confused.
I don't know if it was his responsibility here that compelled him to go back, or the desired need to runaway given his cancelled engagement, but he went back. He never really shared what was on his mind after that.
I guess what's important is not to dwell too much on decisions made in the past but on what you're planning for the future. It seems bright for him given the circumstances. The man's in love and doesn't seem lost anymore.


- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Girl's night out

Last friday, with Ian out of the picture, Jinky and i decided to have our own girl's night out. My agency was holding another Dunhill event at the Embassy. (I love being in an ad agency...) Earlier that week, i had already told the Account Manager in charge of it to include my name in the guest list plus 1. So all we had to do was go there and enjoy the night.

And we did. The eclectic sound of Dunhill senses sent us into a euphoria accompanied by free cigarettes and of course, booze. Sounds from a flute calmed the senses of everyone, taking the stress away from the hectic week. Next was something new. A violinist came out. Hmmm... more calming tunes? After an introduction to his strings, the bass suddenly creeped in, and then series of sounds. It became a mix of classical and house. I have never heard anything more tantric. It was beautiful.

I was drinking the vodka mixes like water. Jinky on the other hand had been more moderate. By the time she'd sip her drink... i would have finished mine... hmmm... Jinky humored me by saying "So this is what hell looks like..." Maybe it was the smoke in the room, the overflowing alcohol and the sexy chikas going around to give out free premium cigarettes on a tray that gave it away...

and then there was dancing... I had my officemates with me, the likes of Paul, Maki, Faye, Denise, etc. By the time the party started, people had already accumulated. Which meant you had to dance to get through the other side of Embassy. Since we had the couch to ourselves, People kept on passing through in front of us. Normal. But then these two guys suddenly stopped beside me. Thinking they just wanted to stay there, i figured sige lang! But then i heard the funniest line... The guy beside me was trying to make a move. I could hear his breath on my face when he looked back where his friend was and asked... Pare, anung sasabihin ko? I knew it wasn't going to be pleasant. His other friend, more confident but with less height, asked if they could dance with me and Jinky. I said Sure! Why not right?

Wrong. While everyone else, including us, we're facing the stage, these two blokes were (trying to) dancing in front of us. And seemed to have formed a circle... So while they danced, we ignored.

And still ignored through the rest of the night.

After a while they finally realized we weren't interested. But before making an exit, one of them asked for my number. Clutching Paul in one hand i had to hesitantly* decline (*only because i felt sorry for the guys) and said that i was with my boyfriend (referring to Paul... who's gay by the way). Then they asked for Jinky's number which she wholeheartedly declined to give... No! (Angas mo girl!!!)

There's really no morale in the story. Only the realization that though we've been manangs for so long May asim pa rin kami!!!

And maybe that hell doesn't look too bad...

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

demons

For the past few days, i've been feeling down, borderlining to depression. Why? I don't know. Start of the week, my senior asked me if i was ok. "Huh?". He said that it seems like something's bothering me, and that it goes deeper than my monthly cramps. I relayed Jason's question to ian and he asked me "So are you?".
I have no idea why or if i really am. There are some ideas that popped out earlier while i was having my alone-time at work. I was smoking upstairs and these things, horrible thoughts just came out of my thoughts. Bottomline, it was a feeling of disappointment. Worst of all it wasn't because i did something wrong. Still not clear. Horrible, horrible thoughts.
There were constant nagging. It pained me everytime. Each thought seemed like a physical blow At the end of it all, i felt weakened. Defeated by the demons inside my head.
Maybe this is why i feel so tired at the end of the day.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.