Remembering (naman) why i like my school

This being my last year, and in fact my last semester in Ateneo have so far brought me nothing but stress... and more stress. The other day, i was in the brink of a breakdown. It was thursday. My school decided to follow our Monday schedule of classes due to the frequent holidays falling on that day. My teachers for those monday classes however, felt that they no longer hold their classes. Ergo, i didn't have classes last thursday. Hurrah right? Wrong. At the end of the day, i felt so burnt out! I was stressing about school, the people, my friends, my supposedly special friend... and even my future. It was a minute case of panic attack. It was a time that i felt alone. My closest friends were (1.) out of the country, (2.) in their dorm, or (3.) busy with work! I was left with no one to talk to. No one to air it out to. I was so pissed off, i couldnt even write about it at that time.

So what was a girl to do? Out of desperation i took the more aggressive action-- i called up Claire and told her i'll pick her up in Makati just to talk to me... How sad. What even makes it more sad is the fact that she was going home later at around 7, and it was only past 4 in the afternoon. I called Mike. He was in Coffee Bean thank God! I had to leave the house which was why i dressed up to go some place even though i didn't know where i was going. I stole Mike from his post for 30 minutes to rant about everything. My new clean slate of not smoking was marred. I bought a pack but which i am still proud to say that i've only opened and used 2 sticks on that day. Oh wait, i did smoke yesterday. Damn.

Mike had to leave and go back to his post, but he knew i was confused with all that's happening. The gist of it? "Handling failure is one thing... but failing someone is another."

That day actually sucked but i got to hung out with more friends i bumped into in the mall. Yesterday, well Don and Jacky are the only one's who understands why my friday turned out nice. Then today happened.

I woke up at 5 a.m. having slept at 12 in the morning trying to catch a glimpse of the Bench Understatement fashion show at the tube. How can i resist hot guys? joke! So i drearily went through as fast as i could, my morning routine which includes not eating breakfast at home. I was really sleepy since i didnt get enough sleep the night before too. It was a 7am call time for Ateneo's Blue Christmas for children. I volunteered as a facilitator. I questioned again why i signed- up in the first place, like why i signed-up to be a facilitator for Ateneo's Alternative Class Program (ACP) anyway? At 7:20, due to my ever so batugan self, i arrived in Xavier hall where all the other volunteers were. I met my group and left after a while to pick up the kids in San Mateo.

There were problems that were fixed immediately, but still cutting us out of our GD with the kids. It was more of a blessing actually. When we arrived at 10:30, we escorted 13 kids to their dance class that an org sponsored. We had to dance. It was a way to make these kids realize it was actually cool to learn dancing in Ateneo. Right. But these kids would sit down when they see you sitting down. So i had to learn the dance. I didn't mind actually. The wave was pretty cool.

At around lunch time i left so i could do an interview. I had asked permission and noted that it was really important, which it was. Really. So i made my way to the Comm department to look for Hans. Kenneth was already there. I tried as much as i could to end early since i had to run back to my post. In less than an hour, i had my interview in a tape. Thank you Kenneth. Oh and yes, Hans looks great! (looks, present participle) Nice legs by the way. Thank you Hans.

when i got back, i saw one of the kids named Jovelyn isolated from the other kids. I asked Jaya, a co-faci why. She said that after i left, the kid wandered off without telling anyone. They all got worried, but at the same time got mad at the fact that she didn't listen to what they were told. It was punishment. Tsk. At this point the kids were already comfortable being around me. Holding my hands, hugging me, talking to me, among others. Jovelyn was one of the closest to me. When everyone had to mobilize out to Bellarmine field she held her arms around my waist tight. Kristine Terible relayed the story of what happened to me on the way there. She even taunted the kid that she missed me so quickly, she ran away. Jovelyn felt a little embarassed as she clutched my arm. They all were malambing. Maybe because they thought i was related to Sandara. Monica, another kid, had been teasing me the whole time that i was Sandara and kept on looking for Hero.

The field was under the blazing sun, and we were all on it. It was a good thing that 3 of my co-faci's had umbrellas to shield the kids from the heat. Yep, we were yaya's. I was ocnstantly fanning them to try to keep them cool. There was a show, inflatable slides and this thing wherein you go inside this giant balloon and jum up and down in it. The kids went wild and ran around the field. We were all watching, making sure that they won't cross the street, or go anywhere else. It got hotter at around 3. Music was playing loudly and the hosts started calling on kids to go on stage. I volunteered 3 from San Mateo to dance, only because they did want to! They backed out saying that they didnt have the song Toxic by Britney Spears. Hmmm. Anyway, we decided that the other Jovelyn would just sing. She sang. Damn did she sing! She had a really nice voice that made us stage momma's and poppa's proud of our alaga. Everyone applauded. And to think she told me ealier that her ambition was to become a singer. How's that for motivation? After the whole activity, we had to part ways. We said our goodbyes, hugged and kissed and led them to the bus and new faci that would take them back home. We couldn't take them ourselves since we were required to stay and clean up. I saw the kids at the side of the bus wherein they yelled their last goodbyes. The singing Jovelyn asked if i was going with ACIL next week to teach them. I meekly replied no, since i wasn't from ACIL. Her face turned to disappointed. I apologized. They asked if i could go with them in the bus, but i had to explain why i couldn't. They are great kids.

"When the kids are away, the grown- ups play!" -- When all of them left, the inflatable slides and vacuum thingy were all ours. We were worse than those kids! We ran towards them when it was announced open for us. And the fact that it took a couple of batches of grown-ups to deflate the slide over the many batches of kids that slid on it. Haha! But the best thing about it? At 5:30 p.m., the lights in Bellarmine field was turned on for the first time... and i was there. As the sun slowly made its way into night, the christmas lights shone brighter and brighter until i finally left at 6:30. It looked like shredded fire pouring down from the trees around Bel. It was definitely something to look forward to in Ateneo.

Even though life may throw me so many things that i feel i can't all catch, i know for a fact that at least life throws me pillows compared to the rocks those unfortunate kids get. Simple things such as christmas lights are one of the few things in life worth stopping for. It's worth stopping stressing and appreciate the little things in life that matters most.

Today may have been one of the longest days of my life, but it was definitely worth every minute of it.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

My PR paper: Blogster

When we were given a task to write about “What’s cool today?” I found myself excited, but as to what was beyond me. I knew there were lots of things I could write about, this meaning that what I usually do is actually cool. So I reflected on my regular day and what I regularly do. I have org work, but I find it more an obligation than an interest. I wanted to write about doing community service, but that seemed too desperate to be tagged as a true well-bred Atenean. So while I gawked at my computer screen I decided to connect on the Internet. Automatically, I log on to my e-mail, my Friendster account, and my blog. Suddenly I was taken back. That sudden jolt made me realize what I’ve been keeping myself busy with for the past few months—my blog.
After the advent of Friendster, I found a new type of connection with my peers—blogs. At first, it was an invite to be able to write along side my barkada. It was a way for all of us to keep in touch and to see what’s new in our lives. For me it was a way to be kept up to date with the latest gossips around. However, being invited to join required me to sign-up for my own account. Thus, the website AveragePsycho was born. Interestingly enough, my friends from the green corner weren’t the only ones interested in blogs. Soon, my friends in Ateneo started asking me to link them up. They wanted me to put a link to their website in my own. This was the new Friendster connection series. Now, not only can you view their profile, you can actually view their thoughts.
Let’s define first what a blog is. A blog, according to www.marketingterms.com, is “a frequent, chronological publication of personal thoughts and Web links”. Simply put, it’s an on-line diary. However, instead of isolating it by hiding it under your bed or behind your dresser in lock and key, it takes on a more… prima dona attitude. You write about your thoughts and ideas no matter how insignificant or deep, thinking that the whole world will be able to read it and talk about it. There are web hosts that give this free service like LiveJournal.com, Kuwaderno.net and my home blog, Blogspot.com. More and more of my friends started sharing that they too had their own blogs and wanted to link up. If in Friendsters users we’re called “friendsters”, users of blogs are now called “bloggers”.
But what’s in a blog? There are a lot of different things you can do to personalize your blog. First, there is the template or the overall background of your web page. Next is of course your blog’s title. In my case as mentioned is AveragePsycho. You have your usual entries posted. If you have been a user for a while, you would have links to your previous entries on the side. Each entry is automatically dated so your archives are actually organized. After each entry is a link for all the comments to be posted. This will give your readers a chance to air off praises or complaints. If you are serious about your “blogging”(the act of using your blog), you will do what most bloggers would do—you will get your own tag board. A tag board is basically a message board for your visiting guests. They could leave their praises or complaints here as well. Your profile with a small picture (if you so choose to post it there) can be viewed so the readers can see who owns that blog, but being the diva that I am, I posted more pictures of me on the side for all to see.
I have always fancied writing-- from poems, to essays, to nonsense writings of my ho-hum existence. In “blogging”, I am able to write about interesting details about my day. All my thoughts, rants or raves, are posted on my blog. Sometimes when I am inspired, I post short poems like the one I wrote in my history class the other week. If there are photographs taken with my friends, I am able to share it with others. I’ve already posted pictures of my friend’s baby shower, our “girl’s only” trip to the beach as well as my newly born inaanak Stefano Nicholas. Other “bloggers” post their artwork on their blog while others include Media Players on their blogs so visitors can enjoy their favorite music while reading their posts. Others even have short movie clips to share.
People write about a lot of topics in their blogs, though I must admit that there are some who writes just so they can say that they’ve posted something. They write a critique on movies they’ve just watched, books they’ve read, restaurants and the food they ate and events or parties they’ve been to. I wrote an opinion about a local film called “Feng Shui” where Kris Aquino was the leading actress. I would say it was quite detailed which made that entry longer than expected of a blog. However, I was surprised when someone commented on my positive approach to local films. My visitor was a Filipino located in Dubai. He praised the way I gave an unbiased review. This is maybe due to the fact that I mentioned liking the film even though I wasn’t keen on seeing Kris’ acting skill. His comment was astonishingly as long as what I had written. The following days, another visitor left his praises for it. Not bad for a first-time critic.
Blogging also gives you a chance to be able to meet new people. Those who view your entries and comments are able to interact with you. They sometimes leave their e-mail address or their Yahoo Messenger i.d. Other bloggers leave a message on your message board saying how much they enjoy your blog and asks if both of you could link your blogs. From here you are able to broaden your connections. They not only get to learn from you, but you are able to learn from them too. I actually met a 13- year old girl who was related to our President. The fact that she was a Macapagal didn’t startle me, but the fact that she was only 13 years of age and her blog was so extravagant as compared to mine put me in my course to shame. Another is actually a course mate of mine. He’s as brilliant as his uncle, only nicer. Nate Dy-Liaco’s blog is definitely for the truly political and intellectual Atenean. Entries are always written with such vigor that sometimes it’s scary to read it. Another one is my blockmate Roel. His is actually a live journal. If you want to read about bitterness or angst, his is the entries you read. There are so many others to share but it would take forever to describe them. Only know that each blog is as unique as its users. Their very attitude, their very personality is extended to their blogs, which makes it more interesting to read.
Having a blog can actually be regarded as prestigious. This is due to the fact that (1.) you need a limitless Internet connection, (2.) you have to be intellectual or at least sound like one, (3.) and you are informed. The first one is due to the fact that in order to regularly check your blog for new comments or messages and be able to post entries you need to have an Internet connection. This can cost a lot of money, and people know it so when they see that you have new posts everyday they’ll think you’re actually well- off. For Ateneans, a simple visit to the various computer labs during break time gives them an upper hand on this factor. Secondly, having a blog that people would actually like to read requires an effort on the user’s part to provide an entry that’s enough to stimulate or at least excite their readers. Witty remarks, a political stance or my favorite sarcasm are just some of the many ways you can present your thoughts. You have to admit that there are still some things you can’t disclose to the worldwide public. Lastly, but definitely not the least is information. As the cliché goes, “Information is power”. Being able to “blog hop” (going from one blog to another) enables you to view what’s been happening to people especially your friends or even acquaintances that you get to see around. Without even asking them, you can get a glimpse of their thoughts or read about their experiences. You are up- to- date, well informed. Another way of looking at it is you are able to show people that you are up- to- date by citing movies or events you have been to. Other bloggers get to read about it in your blog and they know it came from you. Call it a newsletter about your life and what you know about others too. The cherry on top of it all is when your peers talk about what you’ve written. I’ve had a couple of block mates actually asking me the next day about a then previous rant entry about a classmate. That was actually the time I found out that they do read what I write!
In a way, people with hints of narcism find blogging pleasurable. In this day and age where people constantly sell themselves, blogs can give you that extra exposure and attention you need at the start or end of the day. Besides, who doesn’t want to be paid attention to right? Well I guess I just finished my entry for the day. Now if I can only write my paper…

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

An ode to my history teacher

I was so enthralled in my history class earlier (being sarcastic...) today that while i was in class, i was inspired and wrote a poem about it.

She moves hastily,
her eyes engaged
She speaks of our history
with such passion to share.
You feel her excitement;
amused by her flare
But i sit here quietly,
while i write and stare.
I bite my nails
trying to wake my soul
Slowly i fall on my chair.
Slowly i die in despair.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Nic and Camille's baby boy!

Woohoo!!! may bago ng kabarkada!!!

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I just came from Medical Hospital along Meralco avenue. Yogi and Chino were kind enough to pick me up in Ateneo and bring me along to visit the new member of the barkada. According to mommy Camille, baby Nicholas/Brent weighed around a little more than 5 lbs. I asked if she had difficulty with her labor or in giving birth, and she just smiled and gave out a little laugh and said that she had no trouble at all. Natural birth ladies. I have new found respect for this woman! I had to ask... "drugs?" Yes. Oh thank god she's not superwoman!!! But you can;t help but be proud of the couple! Congratulations once again kids!!!

So for all those who want to view the new parents and their child simply click on the title above!

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Death in the family

Apple.
Born November 15, 1992.
Died November 14, 2004.
"She loved chocolates..."

Shali's Notes

I wrote this at the back of my history handout when I got stuck in Katipunan yesterday. November 11, 2003.

I’m staying in Katipunan Starbucks while I’m waiting for my brother. Thinking I could smoke outside, I found the place packed with few tables free inside. I simply assumed a higher power refused to see me smoke again. I concurred and made my way to a free table inside. I thought I could sit and read my history handout quietly, but the coffee place suddenly became your usual fastfood scenario. (only this had couches) NOISE. Unbelievable noise. Noise, which are coming from the 3 shrieking girls behind me on the couch. Adults, in front of me laughing heartily, and 3 other girls and a guy on my 10 o’clock, stomping their feet out of laughter. I could rarely hear the music playing. I think they’re currently playing “Puff the Magic Dragon”, but I doubt if anyone else notices. Shit. I could use a smoke. Others in Starbucks are alone, like me, enjoying their coffee.
It’s still raining in Katipunan. This morning, on my way to school it looked as if it was late in the afternoon. It was only past 10 in the morning and it seemed like the sun was already about to set. But it was just the beginning of my day.
It’s starting to tone down now, probably because I’m just drowning the noise out in my head. It always happens when I’m writing (or reading), I hear only my voice talking inside my head. Hey, I just found out what to write for my PR class! The question goes “What is cool for you?” For me, it’s writing. Being able to share ideas with strangers. When it comes to paper my height becomes obsolete and my voice suddenly becomes louder. Guess its a compensation. Aaaaah, finally, the shrieking girls behind me left. The adults left earlier. It’s only 5:20 p.m. and I’m waiting for my brother to pick me up at 6.
I remember what Sir Sev mentioned yesterday in our PR class. He said when you go to a restaurant or café, you usually see women in a table having a civilized conversation. He admires women that way. He also said that when men meet, there has to be props (beer, bands, and on occasion—dancers) for them to converse. Other than that is just pure awkwardness. Men don’t share secrets you see. All they share are CONQUESTS (as said by Sir Sev) and never faults or mistakes.
Oh shit, I thought the girls at my 10 o’clock left, turns out they just moved to the couches behind me.
It’s so cold. I forgot my jacket today.
It’s starting to tone down mainly because people are leaving. It’s not as noisy like it was a while ago.
Hmm… I’m writing and I’m alone. A friend once told me that when you’re alone at a restaurant or café, it’s either you bring a good book because it means you’re sulking up culture, or you bring a pen and a pad and write so people would think you’re a critic. I’d like to be thought of as a writer, immortalizing anyone and everything I see.
Oh God! What are they playing now? It sounds like ABBA meets country… the agony…

I had to use my free stub for customizing your drink. I bought a café mocha with caramel syrup and it smells good! No passion hot tea for me today… I actually remember ordering one time at Starbucks and I asked for “hot passion tea with raspberry”... hot passion would certainly get you more than tea this way so I always ask for “passion hot tea” now.
I’m guessing I’m not the only writer in this place. There’s another girl at the end of the room, writing. She pauses and looks around, then writes again. I wonder if I look like that. She seems so serious, and all I do is rant about people. Hehe.
Hey! They’re playing the “Lion Sleeps Tonight”.
It’s so cold. My fingers are starting to go numb. Coffee ain’t working y’all! Now I’m craving for Yellow Cab plain cheese pizza with lots of dried chilis… ummm… pizza…
This is already my second page. That’s it! I’m stopping. ‘Till next.

Just so everyone knows, I got picked up at 7:30. I hung out with my friends since my brother got stuck in the office. No biggie! I had Yellow Cab pizza for my lunch! Woohoo! I can hear myself get fat.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Enjoying the simple things in life

Let me tell you a little somethin' somethin' about my day. My alarm woke me up at 6:00 am, enough for me to take a quick bath, get dressed and leave for carpool. Easy right? Wrong. My celfon rang, but i didn't want to get up. I stayed in bed for 30 more minutes. consequentially, i got left behind my 6:30 trip. That was fine with me. It's Ateneo's damn fault anyway for making my CTK classes at 8:30 am. So i decided to hitch at the next trip, 7:30am. Not so bad. The night before i fixed some pictures. I needed a 1x1 i.d. picture for Mr. Sarmenta's class. With it i included those i wanted printed out. Sayang naman yung photo paper ko diba?. So i included some pictures from our trip to Fuego, as well as pics of me, jinky and joyce. Then i decided to add a pic of myself with him. (HIM! blind item) It turned out nice. Now i have something to stare at when i'm bored in class. So i cut my first class and went straight to my next class; PR. For some reason, each time Sir Sev Sarmenta speaks, you are immediately stunned in sheer awe at how brilliant he is. This guy knows what he's talking about. But unlike other teachers, he's actually interesting to listen to. It was supposed to be a 3 hour class but for a straight 1 and a half hour he lectured and filled up my notebook as long (in average) as how i make my blogs! After my PR class, I bought my book-- Philosophy of Religion by Ferriols. I think i might actually make him sign it. Graduating, i never really had the pleasure of being one of his students. I have seen this really old guy around. (and when i say old, i mean OLD) He's brilliant, and though time may have eaten away his looks, his charm is still incomparable.

Anyway, i had my lunch. Looked for my friends in the LFC room. Stayed there for a while and then left to go to the library and finish cutting my newly printed pictures. As pathetic as it sounds, after finishing, i stared at our picture. Blech mush. But cute nonetheless... It was 12, my history class was at 12:30. Made my way to the third floor of Berchman. On the floor was a window overlooking the quad. It was a beautiful sight. The sun was out and so were the students. Some sat down the stone benches chatting with their friends. You can see the conyo bench near the cafeteria on the left. At the right was Kostka, and Kostka Extension filled with numerous people from different orgs trying to promote their projects. In the middle of it all was the new Japanese rock garden in quad, with huge trees keeping the garden shaded. The colors were fantastic. For a blue school they know how to keep their greens well. I took out my camera, and shot my friends from the window. History class was boring. I like our teacher, she's got spunk but her excitement still made the subject boring. I account it to how she presents details. Everything's so sporadic, like there's no organization at all. I get lost whether she's referring to the US or the Spanish. Then i went home at 1:30.

Going home early used to be exciting cause it meant i could still go out and hang around the mall. But suddenly i realized my spontaneous malling buddy had already left! There'd be no more last- minute invites to eat out, no more Bizu, Cibo... yellow cab... There's be no more impulse shopping either! No more shoes... Who else can i show my new shoes who has the same flare as i do?

To make it even worse, my dog is sick. My mom and i took her to the vet awhile ago because she's been vomiting. Turns out she's got an infection. She's actually more than 10 years old already. The doctor told us she needed to be operated on because of her recent bleeding problem. But it's also possible that she can die on the table. My dog is fat, among her other problems...

And now, i browse the internet and write in my blog, and bore you readers out there by the sheer length of my blogs.. mwahahahaha!!! that just makes my day...

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Patience IS a virtue...

School has already started again. Blech.

Last night, we had a surprise "despedida" for one of my oldest friends-- Joyce. She'll be leaving tomorrow night to San Francisco. The only problem with our surprise is that we were the ones surprised that she had already arrived at Chino's house. Quincy kasi eh... joke! There were people from the barkada i haven't seen in ages. Mark Rodriquez, Ana Soriano, Nina Tambunting among others... We were a lot that night for our friend's departure. Even Mike Presa finally hung out with his old barkada. At around 2 in the morning Jinky and i left Chino's house to go home. When i finally got into bed, i succumb to my addiction of the internet. With the rise of Friendster and popularity of YM, i had to log on. And logged on i did. I checked my mail at 3 in the morning. There should be a law prohibiting excess usage of the internet, much like waking up early in the morning for anything. Sleepy as i was, i suddenly felt excited at what i saw. It was a message from friend i've missed so much. He finally contacted me and relief came over me. It was a nice end and a great beginning to my day.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last

Uplifting News to end your day

I had almost forgotten why I refused to watch local news until I tuned in a while ago. GMA had announced that our country’s crisis was over, and that now, we only have our fiscal problem to attend to. She also mentioned that we will be having a bright Christmas this year due to our stabling macro economy… the economists of course laughed at this statement saying that it’s still far from over. On the other side of the news, we are expecting an increase in oil prices this month. They say that this is due to President Bush’s victory. However, the president of SEAOIL blames the weather for the poor production of oil. On the lighter side, a man was apprehended after he tried to allegedly snatch a child away from his mother…

Enough… and I switched to ETC.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

halloween...

Tomorrow would be the start of classes for second sem. Hopefully my last sem in Ateneo. School will start tomorrow but i've already sent my part of a paper due tom! Work will get you anytime, anywhere. Not that i'm complaining. There's really nothing else to do. But i honestly do want this vacation to extend a wee bit longer.

Well, to talk about my halloween... Somehow the event didn't go so well in Alabang. I was hoping for a grand celebration, much like in the last years (not inlucing last year though..) I remember oh so well the haunted mansion made in Cuenca park. Where there were fake monsters as well as fake boys..(like rick and james, gee thanks joyce and jinx!) Aaaahhh.. memories that were sweet. This year my friends had our own halloween party wherin we all really dressed up. Claire went as Cleopatra, Joyce and Chino as the Don and Dona, Jinky and Yogi as batugans (they were wearing pajamas), Kimmie as a politician (way to go dude!), Apple in 20's, Quincy as Mulawin, Nic in his Greenwich ad commercial (naks!), Mian as a pregnant girl (it was more realistic than mine...), Patty and Bong in laid back Cuban outfits, Joax as Peter Pan (but he lost his happy thoughts... and his hat), and Allan who came as Kit. And as mentioned me as a pregnant girl. (tee-hee) Chino's parents were there and they looked pretty shocked at my attire. Tita actually thought i was pregnant until i was punching the pillow to fix the way my belly looked.

A lot of things happened. Well, not much. Jinky and i had an adventure (better get used to the fact that we won't be having any other adventures with Joyce... hwaaaaaa!!!) in starbucks. We met two new friends who will be opening their own restaurant in BF. Got asked out at the end of the night, date will be texted. Fun. One guy was a chef and the other.. uhm the manager.

Anyway, while i was driving around Alabang i suddenly thought of a friend. and how fun it must be if that friend was here. Oh well, i guess i'd never really know.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.