fuego girls!!!

woohoo! just came back from our interesting trip to fuego and overnight in intercon hotel...

daddy's girl

My dad just came back from his business trip and i was surprised by what he bought me and my mom! He actually bought jewelry... and it was really nice and sweet for him to do that! He bought pendants with our birth stones...mine was a peridot. It is so lovely with its peridot drop and 3 cubic zirconiums on top of it... it glared each time the light hits it... It was so not my dad! I raded his bag looking for some more stuff. I felt like a kid again, his little babygirl...
- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

my kikay moment (bare with me)

I almost forgot to retell an important story that I think everyone could benefit in hearing its moral. Last Sunday, while my brother and I were making our way to the bookstore, I came across one of my favorite shoe store. It was every woman’s dream… SALE! So without any hesitation I went in. I browsed around looking for the shoes I’ve been dying to buy. Crap, it wasn’t on sale. But that’s beside the point.

Inside the store I saw a familiar face. She was an Atenean, my batch but I wasn’t sure if she was in the same course, but I have seen her around. She was with her mom buying shoes. Awww… a mother- daughter moment. She had yellow pumps on and was walking around to check it out. Yellow pumps? C’mon, my dogs have better tastes in color. I seriously wanted to suggest to her the white ones… but I didn’t. While modeling it around she kept on conversing both with her mother and the sales lady in English. Some-kinda-coño girl kasi. I tried not to pay attention to it and concentrated on a shoe I found… sling-back black shiny shoes. They were bitchy heels and I looked like a real bitch on those damn awesome shoes! So anyways, this girl in the shop took the yellow shoes (why she did is beyond me) and had a cork put inside the shoe to make it fit more. But she wasn’t done looking around and took 2-inch bage sling-back shoes. 60’s but charming nonetheless. She took those too. When she finished the cashier started punching the numbers. Total sale= 3,000 pesos. The girl and her mother were shocked at the price. Then she finds out that her yellow pumps costs Php2,000. “I thought it was 700(++) pesos!” Her mother seemed pissed and aloofed at the same time. Knowing all too well that she had already made the sales lady put that cork in her yellow shoes… she took the bage sling-back shoes. I saw the faces of all the sales people in the store. All wanted to kill her at that instant. I assumed the girl and her mother were there for a long time… I wanted to give her some of my yellow sarcasm! Pakonyo-konyo pa wala namang pera! Anak ng tipaklong oo… She paid for the other shoe and immediately left probably in embarrassment. She should have paid for the yellow shoes! Her mother should have told her to get the yellow shoes! Why the hell did she want the yellow shoes? So I did what every Filipina would do—I made chismis to the sales lady. I asked what happened and suddenly information just came pouring in. Apparently that girl took the other shoe! (Well, I knew that!) AND it was actually the second time she went into the store. 1st time was days ago and then today. However, it seemed strangely peculiar that she never knew how much the shoes costs. The cashier’s eyes were fixed on their annoying customer’s tracks. They were angry. I chuckled while I handed them my payment for my awesome new shoes. It was a real bargain. For shoes like that to cost less than 700 pesos? Well at least I learned to read prices in Ateneo. Poor girl. She probably got it from her mom after that. But everything happens for a reason. The shoe god was most likely watching and saved her from long-term embarrassment in purchasing and wearing those yellow pumps. and I mean for me to find my shoes? There is a God!

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last. ... and shop till you drop

Lesson taught in Friendster

There's only one thing worse than someone hating you-- its not being acknowledged. People go through their lives leaving behind pieces of memories, either through their posessions of through the hearts of the people around them. While i watch and wonder at those people with rich memories, i looked upon my own.

Reflecting on the past made me feel both happy and sad. The paradox of life as that of faith (astorga). All those time and energy spent (and not wasted) were mixtures of happy moments, and those i-would-rather-not remember memories. There were many things, many situations that i could have handled differently, especially in terms of love, but i never really regretted them. I tried to live life as much as i could. But looking back at all of it now, i realize that i did regret something.

I was checking my friendster account, and a guy wanted me to add him in my list. But he didn't just bluntly asked to be added, he actually wrote something that hit right through me like a bullet.

"if you love me let me know if you dont let me go....

wow dat caught my attention.. i guess dats ryt. pipol, never hesitate to express wat you feel for someone coz in life you can never tell... I hope you guys would never wake up thinking about "what might have or what could have been" that hurts most especially in the end you'll learn that the person you love is just waiting for you to utter those words.second, yeah if you dont love me LET GO OF ME.. Y? coz we both suffer... you suffer from the fact that you know in UR HEART u dont wanna be wid ME and U are trying your best not to hurt me neither to make me cry but believe me you do, you cause me more pain knowing that im tryin so damn hard to give all the love you can have but you see nothing coz you always see yourself one foot out of the door... you are blinded by the things I do and can do for you.. so be honest... UR hurting both me both ways...IF you feel nothing you find your own reasons why you cant be with the ONE, you see all the ugly stuff in that person BUT IF you really love someone weder he has gf/bf or has kids or married let the person know and IM definitely sure your hearts will find its own ways to prove wat it feels."- Claver

i'm a damn fool. Self- proclaimed. As much as it is hard for me to really quit smoking, so is being a fool. No one like a quitter right Mr. Flamenco fury?

p.s. just added claver in my account...

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

feeling stifled

In my desperate need for growth in cultures, I turned to my family for support. What started as a means to learn together at the same time spend some time together, I was again denied the privilege. This wasn’t the first time it has happened. In previous events that I wanted to participate, answers were always no. I’m already 21. Graduating for another semester and yet here I am still locked in my room. As much as I want to bring my own car behind their back I find it cowardice. I would much rather get into a heated argument than take the car behind my mom’s back. It’s pathetic really. But I often wonder why my friends, or people I’ve just met think that I always go out. I do go out, but to hang out at a friend’s house, or nearby bars. But for them to mention I go out to places like Makati, Libis all the time, it just seems unfair. I’m stuck. And my mom just makes it so easy for me to want to leave the house. On Wednesday I’m going to the beach whether she likes it or not. I’m having fun on my sem break. There’s nothing she can do about it.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Admiring nature

This is a picture of a sunset taken by one of my friends, Roel, a couple of months ago. He posted it in his live journal. Studies actually show that sunsets are not supposed to look like this-- colors of orange, purple and sometimes pink. The pollution in the air reacts to the sun's light causing such a sight. I have never seen such grace or beauty caused by ugliness. Maybe that's why they said that our country features the most beautiful sunsets in the world...

mythology... im just bored

You are Form 9, Vampire: The Undying.
"And The Vampire was all that remained on the blood drowned creation. She attempted to regrow life from the dead. But as she was about to give the breath of life, she was consumed in the flame of The Phoenix and the cycle began again." Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades (Greek) and Isis (Egyptian).The Vampire is associated with the concept of death, the number 9, and the element of fire.Her sign is the eclipsed moon. As a member of Form 9, you are a very realistic individual. You may be a little idealistic, but you are very grounded and down to earth. You realize that not everything lasts, but you savor every minute of the good times. While you may sometimes find yourself lonely, you have strong ties with people that will never be broken. Vampires are the best friends to have because they are sensible.
Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

never ever...

Me and the girls at Joyce's graduation party!!! From left to right: Jeng, Me, Claire, and the graduate Joyce!!! Forgive the dazed look... see those glasses of margarita on the table? =p

and here's everyone...

over and done

• Done with finals.
• Tired.
• Sleepy.
• Happy.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

remembering why i hate my school

Four years… For four years I wasn’t enthusiastic about my alma matter. My friends know this, and I put real emphasis on FRIENDS. For those of my acquaintances who don’t know me, I cried during my first year in college. Not because of family, nor friends, but because of my new school. What was alarming was I’m a people person, and there is nothing more in life more exciting for me than meeting new people. But I hated my school. I wanted out. Literally thinking about transferring where all my friends were, I patiently took solace in talking it over with them. School is far, in every sense of the word. More importantly I hated the kind of people that were there.

Coming from a coed high school down south (or the province as the people in my school calls it), I found myself in awe at the huge transition I had to put myself into. Not that I’m generalizing that people there all talk, walk and dress alike, but some of those I had gotten to meet intimidated me by their drive for excellence. You would think that this is actually healthy, but watching them not care about others by degrading or underestimating them just so they can succeed on getting high grades made it down right frightening (scary is too weak to describe it). People go along their little lives not caring, which is probably why we’re tagged as snobbish (which most of us are not, just some). I, on the other hand, amused myself while I sat in one of the benches around campus watching THEM.

I’m an average student. As much as I want to attain MAGIS, I’m quite content with what I have accomplished. In the previous entry, I talked about killing the man who said, “it is not the destination that’s important, but the journey”. Well, I guess he’s right all along. What can I say against old and wise proverbs?

I never did transfer. I was already finishing my second year in school when I really felt I couldn’t handle the pressure. But I thought that since I was already over the 1st half, I could still bear another. I was not likely to quit. I had my own set of friends, those that I felt comfortable with. There were no high standard requirement, no fru- fru, which I really appreciated about them. No one wore lavish clothes or really up-to-date shoes, but each had their own comfortable styles. We were normal, average, day- to- day students unlike the ones you see in Clueless or other movies depicting high school life. You can say I survived school because of them.

This week is finals week. Tomorrow will be my last exam: theology. I actually can’t wait to graduate.

Thinking that all is going to go well in my last year, things couldn’t go any worse off. I thought that I had lost connections with THEM. Apparently they pop out when you least expect them. I almost lost it a little earlier. I was stressed in taking my Political Science finals, and I had to cram our presentation for OB. My group mates were frantic; I wouldn’t blame them cause so was I. But there’s nothing anyone could do but just finish the job right? Wrong. For THEM, the ones who want to get an A because he wants to graduate cum laude (thought my friend said it was actually impossible for him) and another who just wants it (my friend said it was probably due to the fact that she wasn’t in the dean’s list), the presentation was vital. Gee, thanks for making me feel so irresponsible when I already felt like it. It was like I never wanted to get high too. Like I purposely sabotaged the whole thing (two of us were in charge of it by the way). She sent me the final paper just the night before. I had to study so I told her I’ll be able to make the powerpoint the next morning. But when I checked that morning, I didn’t get anything. Then she starts bitching. PMS. Blah. So since it was still early, it was still ok. I asked my partner if we could meet before my exam. He said he couldn’t. blah. So I made an outline from the semi-final paper and asked him to get it from me before my exam so he could input it already. He didn’t. And to top it all off, we couldn’t contact him let alone find him. I rushed my exam so that we could finish it on time. I might fail in that exam. But that’s beside the point. The presentation was at 4, it was already 3 and still no sign of him. I was panicking. At 3 he finally shows up and that’s when we start making the powerpoint. I gave him my outline (it was per slide). All he had to do was type it all in. But there was still the final paper. I had to include the newly added ones too. Stressed and panicking I worked hastily. THEY watched in shocking realization that we weren’t finished. No shit Sherlocks. We couldn’t finish the whole paper into powerpoint but most of it were already there. 33 slides with movie clips in 1 hour and 30 minutes. We went to the venue at 4:30, good thing the first group was still presenting. Already tired, and frustrated, THEY tell me about their need of an A in that class. Like I didn’t want it. It was the first time I wanted to cry. I felt like… well, this is the first time anyone seemed to bully me. That’s it, I felt bullied. My other friends comforted me by asking if I knew that they were really like that even before? It was one of the reasons why they didn’t want to be grouped with them since third year. Why don’t I ever notice these things? I was crushed. They got me at my weakness, I hate letting people down. I couldn’t care less if I failed… well, I actually do, but getting low grades don’t mind me that much. I hated it. I hated THEM.

I’m in my last year. Why did this have to happen to me in my last year. There can be no peace with me. I just had to be reminded why I hate this school.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Shalimar by Guerlain

Shalimar by Guerlain
What does it take for a fragrance to endure 75 years as a best-seller?
Introduced in 1925, Shalimar, by Guerlain, is everything a high-quality fragrance should be:

• Intoxicating,
• sensuous,
• rich,
• exhilarating,
• timeless
• and long-lasting, with a fascinating history and a beautiful love-story behind it (see bottom of page).

Shalimar, created by Jacques Guerlain at a time when fascination with all-things-oriental was sweeping Europe, is the quintessential oriental fragrance; a distinctive "make a grand entrance" fragrance, for a sophisticated and uninhibited woman. A Tribute to the Love That Grew in The Great Gardens of Shalimar

While visiting Paris, a traveling Maharajah related a love story to Jacques Guerlain, that became the inspiration for Shalimar:

More than 300 years ago, Shah Jahan succeeded to the throne of his father, Jahangir, and became the third Mogul Emperor of India. Jahan loved only one woman. Her name was Mumtaz Mahal. Some say he loved her unto madness, that she was not his wife but his fever. Victories, empires and riches were as dust compared to her. In his eyes, she alone was the balm that made life bearable. When she died, Jahan's hair turned white. He would burst into tears at the mention of her name. In her memory, he built one of the world's greatest wonders - the Taj Mahal at Agra. But the Taj Mahal is only an empty monument. While Mumtaz was alive, Jahan created a series of gardens for her at Lahore, gardens the likes of which had never been seen before. He called them the gardens of Shalimar, the Sanskrit word meaning "abode of love". From every corner of the Earth, the most fragrant and delicate blossoms were brought. Deep pools were built with crystal fountains and terraces paved in marble. The rarest birds were summoned to sing here, and lanterns were hung to rival the stars. In the gardens of Shalimar the lovers were truly happy, and Mumtaz bore fourteen children to her beloved Jahan.

During Shalimar's development, it had a working name of Taj Mahal. Guerlain eventually changed it to Shalimar, because Taj Mahal was the end of a story, while the gardens at Shalimar were about a never-ending love.

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

Wednesday i'll be fine...- Sting

It’s the first day of finals week, hopefully my last finals of a 1st semester! I just finished my first exam, Philosophy orals. Not that I have any complaints on it, but having it in Filipino seems harder than it looks. I was faced with not only one teacher but two other teaching assistants who I think are the most scariest TA’s ever! I felt like being in American idol. Dr. Ibana, my professor would be Paula Abdul, the other thin guy as the black man (sorry, don’t know him), and of course Camillo, our very own version of the relentless you-love-to-hate Simon.

I was in the departments chair’s office (which would be Dr. Ibana’s) seated in a round table with the great minds of the Philo dept.. My heart was racing. It was nothing I have ever experienced before. I have been taking philosophy, as well as theology since 3rd year college, and each semester the same thing at the end—oral exams. But this time it was different. I was faced with 3 audiences. It takes more than guts to go in that room. Those people who are willing to commit suicide and face death were probably the only ones who could come in and honestly say they are not afraid. For me, it took strong amounts of insanity to jump in. There they were seated around the table, waiting to devour me. They asked the 2nd thesis statement;

“Likas na mabuti ang tao; subalit aktibong pinipili ang pagpapakabuti. Nagiging maladiyos and nagpapakamakadiyos”

It was one of the easiest thesis. I tried as much as I could to explain it. Phrase by phrase I explained it. My voice cracked under the pressure. It was like having a frog stuck in your throat. After a while they asked questions. I looked at Dr. Ibana, with his thick glasses that made his eyes look goofy. Next were the assistants. They seemed to enjoy the moment of power. Who wouldn’t? In the middle of all the excitement, I fumbled by forgetting what “assess” is in Filipino. I excused myself and apologized. I saw the creepy thin man chuckle while looking at Camillo. I wanted to jump over the table and strangle him. Doc asked more questions after that, but on the side I saw the assistants fooling around and giggling like little schoolgirls. I think Camillo’s gay… But that’s beside the point. After 15 minutes the school bell rang. It was already 2:30 p.m., the end of my orals. At the end, they told me it was very good, better than my written exams. No shit! That was better. My exams composed of my first ever D in philo and a C+/B, and the last paper that they haven’t given back to me. I understood what the lesson was. At least they said it was a good oral exam. Given that words like “ay”, “parang” (which I said a couple of times), and “kunyari” were not allowed, I hacked it, hacked it pretty well I should say. How’s that for nagmemeron?

Though my finals doesn’t end until Thursday, Sting is playing but it is true that Wednesday would be fine, because come Thursday ill be free!!!

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

i hate school

Craaaaaaaap!!!! i hate school i swear! i have philo orals tom afternoon! i hate orals!!! give me tons of paperwork just not orals!

Itinerary for the week:

Mon- philo orals

Tues- eco finals

Wed- polsci finals

ls defense

Thurs- theo orals

And then get fucking wasted!!!!

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

a prayer

I want to fall in love again...

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

girl on a mission

Unfortunately for me, in these past few months i have been apathetic to everything around me, including school. Yes, laziness kicked in but not only because of this being my last year, but because i have been holding on to a false hope.

What my friends made me realize, yet again, is that life moves on regardless of you. Fact of the matter is, the world doesn't revolve around you. When you're sad, it doesn't take a halt and console you, it works overtime not minding you. So what do you do when you feel bad? do what the world does... work overtime. I almost forgot how to be a workaholic, the healthy kind.

It's almost finals, though my grades are not as high as i expected it to be, i have two more weeks to make everything right. Maybe anger is a bad type of inspiration, but it works as a leeway to where i want to go, what i want to achieve.

Next year i will graduate at march. I will work at a magazine... either that or advertising agency or a television station. Whatever happens, get out of the way, im a girl on a mission.

p.s. you suck

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.

9 questions... for now...

Though i might be risking contradicting myself with this question, my baffled mind is in great need of enlightenment...

When should hoping for a great love end?
What criterias are needed for such a halt?
Why should it?
Shouldn't it?
How would one go about it?
How does one get through it?
Does one get through it?
Is faith sufficient enough to hold?
on or am i just fooling myself?

- Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like it's your last.